Nasica's Insight

When Maggie Thatcher was deposed as Conservative Party leader one of her problems was that she had grown so powerful that she had lost touch with the nation. Politicians, therefore, may be said to need their enemies. At least, that was the belief of Scipio Nasica, grandson of Scipio Africanus - the general who beat Hannibal during the Second Punic War. According to Tom Holland in Rome and her Enemies, Nasica

... warned the Senate that though Rome's position should be preserved, Carthage should not be destroyed as a rival. Were this to occur, there would be no check to Rome's arrogant disregard for the legitimate interests and concerns of smaller states. Moreover, in the absence of any external threat, the Roman Confederation would be in danger of disintegrating as fractious political and social groups pursued their own self-interested ends. Events proved Scipio's prediction to be remarkably perspicacious.

Holland is thinking of the civil wars, ultimately won by the filius divus Octavian Caesar, but perhaps we might apply Nasica' prediction to the Conservative Party of the late 80s and early 90s!

Shoot Out at the O.K. Emirates

Well, I never learn. I was listening to Radio 5 Live's commentary of the Arsenal - Tottenham Hotspur game last night. When Arsenal went 4 -2 up with I thought, that's it; Gomez (Tottenham goalie) has been having an awful game, Arsenal have taken control of the field - the victory will be theirs. So, I switched the radio off. This morning, however, I woke up to find that it isn't only Manchester United who are capable of the last minute comeback. Spurs scored twice in the 90th and 94th minute to earn a valuable point. Harry Rednapp has been at White Hart Lane only a few days but is working wonders there. SisterHevs, long suffering Tottenham fan, will be happy!

Joey Barton

Newcastle United footballer Joey Barton has had more chances to resurrect his football career than he deserves, but then, as Gandalf told Frodo, men who deserve life die and men who deserve death, live; who are we to decide which they should have? In the case of Barton, the one who had that power was his manager, Kevin Keegan. Keegan has left Newcastle Utd now, but Barton remains and last night, on his first start for the team since leaving prison (after being jailed for assault), he scored a penalty to help Newcastle to its first win in too long.

Last week, Barton spoke of his wish to become a role model to youngsters who got into trouble as he had done. Derision met him. But, wouldn't it be wonderful if he could overcome his troubles and be an inspiration for anyone who has taken the wrong turn in life? Saints are not only those who never did anything wrong, but those who did and then turned their lives around. Well done to Barton for having the bravery to set himself such a profoundly good target at the risk of setting himself up for an even bigger load of criticism should he go off the wagon again. It would have been much easier, and less nobler, of him to keep his head down, take his wages and not make any change to himself at all. Joey Barton has taken his first steps towards holiness.

On Brand & Ross and Sachs et al

The mob is always a distasteful sight to civilised eyes and the mob mentality is even worse. It seems to me that the latter has taken over the controversy between Jonathon Ross and Russell Brand and Andrew Sachs (who played Manuel in Fawlty Towers). As everyone knows, Brand and Ross made four lewd phone calls relating to the actor's granddaughter on Sachs' answerphone. The programme where they played the tape of their calls was broadcast on 18th October. Two complaints were subsequently received by the BBC.

As of yesterday, as the fall out from the affair continued, the BBC had received 10,000 complaints. Amongst those criticising Brand and Ross are no less than David Cameron, leader of the Conservative Party, David Hanson, the justice minister, and Gordon Brown himself. None of these three really needed to get involved in this matter - especially the Prime Minister - and as for the 10,000, well, it beggars belief that as silly as Brand and Ross have been, that their actions could inspire such opposition.

This matter echoes the days following the death of Princess Diana when, no doubt similarly aided by heavy media coverage, many people left flowers and sentimental gifts at Kensington Palace.

In an interview with The Sun, Sach's granddaughter has called for Brand and Ross to be sacked from the BBC. Forgive me for being cynical but I doubt very much that an interview with The Sun would have seen her say anything else.

Of course, if anyone had done what Brand and Ross did in their office, they would have been suspended pending an investigation as a minimum and perhaps sacked straight out. But Brand and Ross are not in an office and do not hold regular jobs. They are comedians who are paid to be on-the-edge. This stunt went over that edge, it's true, so let them be fined or taken off the air for a couple of weeks pending an investigation of where the editorial control of the show broke down, but then - if they have both apologised to Sachs - let them come back and the matter be dropped. Neither they or their producer(s) deserve to be hung out to dry as some would like. What they do deserve is a little bit of perspective. This also is what many of the 10,000 and politicians who have commented (beyond those who remit is culture) require.

Alexander at the Battle of the Granicus - Rupert Matthews

A few months ago I read the excellent The Wars of Alexander's Successors 323 - 281 BC: Commanders and Campaigns by Bennett and Roberts. I'm sure I reviewed it on this blog, but can't find the post. Hmm. Anyway, I have just finished reading the equally excellent Alexander at the Battle of the Granicus A Campaign in Context by Rupert Matthews, who I think is a private historian. This is a really informative look not only at how Alexander won his first battle against the Persian army but the make up of his own army at the time. It also takes a glance at what happened afterwards.

As well as the text, there are some simple graphics to illustrate the formation of the two armies at the Granicus River and how it changed during the battle. Matthews commentary is not one sided - he also takes a look at the Persian forces, which were under the command of the Greek mercenary Memnon. Memnon lost this battle, but he may have fared better if the Persian satraps had paid attention to him earlier on instead of placing their interests ahead of the need for victory over the upstart Macedonian. But that is probably why they chose to do so.

Matthews' insights afford many moments of pleasure during the reading of this book, but it was his retelling of an anecdote that I enjoyed most. Following his victory at the Granicus, Alexander visited the Temple of Artemis at Ephesos (i.e. Ephesus) to give money to the chief priest for its rebuilding. Alexander was born on the day it was burnt down (21st July 356BC) and according to legend, the goddess Artemis was too busy atttending to him to save her temple. He bore, therefore, the responsibility for its destruction. So, Alexander's gift of money was a kind of reparation.

As modest as ever, as Alexander was giving the money to make the temple grander than it had ever been before, he told the chief priest that he might like to inscribe Alexander's name on it. The Chief Priest did not wish to do so, but how would he tell Alexander this without getting his head chopped off? Well, he hit upon an ingenious solution. He told Alexander that he would not carve his name, because, "It is not fitting for one god to do honour to another." Well done that man.

Another little golden nuggett in this book is the short What Happened Next chapter, which outlines what happened to all the major characters in the drama. It reads just like the captions at the end of historical films. Thus,

Ada remained Queen of Caria for the rest of her life. Her date of death is unknown.

Aristobuoulos remained with Alexander until h is death, then returned home and spent the rest of his life writing books on geography

Rheomithras skillfully led his Cavalry units out of Alexander's reach, heading southeast towards the Euphrates. He joined Darius late in 334BC. In 333BC he was killed fighting Alexander at the Battle of Issus.

The Spy Who Loved Me - Ian Fleming

Well, I had hoped to finish Ian Fleming's books by the time Quantum of Solace came out but unless I read one every night this week, I am not quite going to make it.

The Spy Who Loved Me is the least successful of all the Bond books that I have read so far. In truth, it is not even a proper Bond novel being simply a book in which James Bond appears.

The 'me' of the title is Vivienne Michel, a Canadian, who is sent to finishing school in England from her native Québec. She is also the narrator of the book. This makes The Spy Who Loved Me the first Bond novel to be told in the first person.

Michel's story has nothing to do with espionage but everything with Fleming's / Bond's second favourite occupation: sex. Michel describes how she haltingly lost her virginity as a schoolgirl and then had an unsuccessful adult romance with a cold hearted German. These experiences turned her off men and, upon her return to Canada, lead her to undertake a road journey (by vespa!) from the top to bottom of east coast America. Not long after taking off, however, she stops at the Dreamy Pines Motor Court in upstate New York where she agrees to do some odd jobs for its manager and his wife at the end of the holiday season.

Unbeknownst to Michel, the couple are in cahoots with a local gangster who sends two of his henchmen to burn the motel down so that he can collect on the insurance. It's bad news for Michel as she is to be the person who accidentally knocks over the gas lamp in her sleep that everyone will think led to the conflagration. That she will be dead with a bullet in her head by then is for them neither here nor there.

The two henchmen, Horror and Sluggsy, are two very nasty pieces of work. They knock Michel around and attempt to rape her. Just in the nick of time, there is a knock on the door and James Bond arrives. The rest of the novel takes place over the course of the evening as the two sides attempt to outwit and kill each other. No prizes for guessing who wins and who ends up sleeping with who by the end.

As well as being the only Bond novel told in the first person, it is the only one that has never been filmed. Fleming left instructions in his will to this effect. This is because of a controversy following the book's release resulting from a remark of Michel's where she states that, "All women love semi-rape. They love to be taken."

It is not hard to see why people took offence and why Fleming subsequently decided that the book should not be put on the big screen. With that said, there must surely be a difference between a statement put into the mouth of a character in a novel and one given by the author narrator within the text. The latter - especially in this context - would be, unless provable, reprehensible; the former justifiable on the grounds that it is the character speaking not the author. Unless, of course, we know that the character is simply the author's voice.

As a character, Vivienne Michel is not so different from Fleming's other heroines. She is a fairly strong, independent minded person - until she meets James Bond. Then, as per the norm, she melts quicker than butter in 100 degree heat. The character of James Bond is never portrayed as a superman. He makes mistakes and suffers the consequences. In this story, he makes quite a few. It is most uncharacteristic. Another unusual thing is that he talks very freely to Michel about his secret service work. Why? Surely no agent worth his salt would speak to strangers in this way. Their conversation in this respect is poor story telling because it is clearly for the benefit of the reader and has little or nothing to do with the story. Sluggsy and Horror are vile people and so great villains although, unlike with some others of their type, there is nothing to secretly admire in them. They aren't would be world dominators, just common thugs.

In its favour, and despite all its faults, The Spy Who Loved Me is very readable. It would have made a great short story. But the various faults mean that I could only really recommend it for Bond die-hards.

Meeting A Bishop

Bishop Bernard Longley is making a visitation of our parish and, as I maintain the parish website, I was invited along to meet him. The occasion was billed as not just about a chance to meet his Lordship, but a chance to talk to him about the parish - "its strengths and weaknesses".

Well, I had one or two questions to ask, but unfortunately, did not have the chance to ask them. About thirty people involved in parish life (through various ethnic groups, devotional ones and the parish council) were at the meet and talk. The time allocated to it was between an hour and ninety minutes.

The big problem was the numbers. At the beginning, the bishop circulated so that he could say hello to everyone. Then, we all sat down in a very rough rugby ball shape (if one side of it has been flattened). One by one we told everyone who we were and what we did. The bishop asked one or two questions, made one or two comments and said thank you for the person's work and witness.

This was very good as far as it went but given that, as I said above, the occasion was billed as a chance to talk to the bishop, it did not go very far at all. Even before the last people in the rugby ball had been reached, the bishop had been given notice that he was due for his next appointment. As soon as he had finished speaking to the last person - following a brief summary of the meeting and a prayer - he was off.

So, it was nice to meet Bishop Longley. He is a very personable man. But so far as its usefulness was concerned, yesterday was a missed opportunity.

Anglo Welsh Cup: Round Two

Harlequins 17 London Irish 32London Irish turn Quins over again at the Stoop. Not too disappointed though, for the Harlequins team was a second string one.

This was the First XV for today.

T Williams; Stegmann, Masson, Taione, Amesbury; Jewell, G Williams; Croall, Brooker, Lambert, Percival, Robson, Davies, Mcmillan, Guest.

The names in red are players that aren't in the usual first XV, so as you can see, it was a pretty understrength side. All the more so because there are one or two other players whose first XV status I am not sure of. Despite the defeat, Dean Richards was reasonably happy:

This was a good opportunity for some of our young players to show what they can do and we played some good rugby at times. "We lost the penalty count 16-9 in the end and it cost us dear. "We lost our discipline and we have to learn about that - but there are some huge positives to take out of the game."

Well done to Irish. If this second defeat in the EDF Anglo-Welsh Cup means Harlequins are out of the tournament, I would be more than happy to concentrate on the Heineken Cup and, most of all, the league.

Kermode on Quantum of Solace

So, this morning I referred to Mark Kermode's Radio Five Live film review and said "I don't always agree with everything he says (one would be foolish to), but his reviews and rants are excellent fun." This afternoon, I listened to this week's edition and heard what Kermode had to say about Quantum of Solace.

27 minutes into a podcast which lasted 46 I eventually got to it. Who would have thought it was the big movie of the week? Ah, but they had to wait for the clips of the film to arrive in the studio. Well, I think if the film makers could not bring themselves to deliver them earlier, the review should have gone on without them.

What makes Kermode's reviews really stand out is his repartee with presenter Simon Mayo. Sometimes, however, they go on for so long that you really do want to reach into your radio or ipod and bang their heads together and tell them to get on with it. What was funny at the beginning is now just irritating. So it was today. It wasn't anything in particular that got in the way, just the seemingly endless interruptions and interjections. Plus the fact that at point's Mayo and Kermode did start to sound really annoyed with each other. That they probably weren't is not the point, it sounded like they were and that ruined the humour; what should have been easy listening suddenly became awkward.

This awkwardness reminds me of something else that I don't like about Kermode. Occasionally, usually when a listener writes in to disagree with something he has said, he casually dismisses their criticism without giving it due care or attention. This is simply a kind of bullying and is beneath him.

So, Quantum of Solace. There was an echo of that bullying in the review. For example, what did he have to say of the title song - Another Way to Die by Jack White (of the White Stripes) and Alicia Keyes? "Rubbish". Art really cannot be dismissed in this way; not, at any rate, by a serious critic. The title sequence came in for similar treatment. Things improved when Kermode declared that the story of Quantum of Solace was "all over the shop." This was not a promising start, after all, doesn't Dr. Kermode ever listen to his own podcast? It is not unusual for ten minutes or more to pass before he gets to his first review. If I recall correctly, not long ago, a film of the week got reviewed in the last seconds of the podcast.

However, after declaring the storyline to be messy, Kermode actually engaged with it to explain why it was so bad; this centred on the incoherency of the narrative. He also observed that the title of the film had nothing to do with the story, which was a great mistake. With this, I absolutely agree, and am very disappointed to learn that no attempt has been made to relate it to the story.

Of course, having spent most of this year reading the Bond novels I have a big interest in this film and so I am likely to have been critical here of Kermode in a way that I wouldn't be when he made the same mistakes with other pictures. However, as I have steered clear of criticising Kermode's criticisms of the film (which, when I see it, I may end up agreeing with), I hope that that doesn't invalidate what I have to say.

McCain for Prez

Everyone else is having their say, so I will too. I am supporting John McCain for the next President of the U.S.A. The two major issues in politics at the moment are the economy and 'war on terror'. McCain is weak on the former and can afford to be. Presidents are not elected to run the economy. Far from it. But, if they need to help it out, as George Bush has been, they have men who can assist them. The war on terror, however, needs someone who has been in at the deep end and who understands the cost of his and his country's actions. I'm sure Barack Obama understands the cost very well, but I choose McCain over him because he has actually been there and has seen war from the inside. That Obama belongs to a party which supports the culture of death is another reason why I would not support him.

Anyhow, it is looking like America will choose Obama so we will see how he shapes up. It would be good if he surprised us.

Out And About

A typical Rothko painting

Yesterday, I celebrated A Very Special Day and a most splendid day it was too. In the afternoon, I drank and ate in the excellent company of L. and the Spidmaster General. Then, in the evening, I met Pidge and Binger for a nocturnal visit to the Tate Modern Gallery where we took in the Rothko Exhibition.

Pidge works for the Fairground. As I headed into town to meet him, I wondered if my earlier visit to the pub would put me at a disadvantage when we had our pre-Rothko drinks. I need not have worried. It turned out that the Fairground had decamped to one of their locals to celebrate the departure of one of the Spinners (although it is debatable that as to whether one can ever leave the Fairground after joining it). Pidge, far from being stone cold sober, had also been wondering if he would be at a disadvantage. He may still have blotted his copybook with the Old School Ringmasters, though. One of them said to him, "Where are you off to, son?", to which Pidge replied, "The Rothko exhibition." He may just as well have admitted his undying love for the Ringmaster. "Riiiiiiight. Well, enjoy yourself then."

And we did. All the paintings in this exhibition come from Rothko's late period (late forties to the sixties). We ran into an old tutor of Pidge's who told us that these works were executed during the Pop Art period. They were, then, fundamentally anti-populist. That was a nice detail to know because, to be honest, I couldn't make head nor tail of them. Most of the rooms featured paintings of various reds and squares and rectangles. A couple of rooms exchanged these colours for blacks and greys. We christened these the Tottenham Rooms as the art works were clearly a meditation on Spurs' bad start to the new season. That is as far as our criticism went!

Binger is a proper art critic and he thought the exhibition splendid. Afterwards, we travelled to a well rated curry house in South End Road in Hampstead called Paradise and ate an excellent meal there. It was my VSD and the manager very kindly indeed gave me an ice cream and all of us glasses of amaretto on the house. If you are in the neighbourhood, I heartily recommend Paradise to you. As you come out of the overground railway, turn right and walk a few feet on. You will see it on the other side of the road. A great end to a wonderful day. Thank you to all who made it so.

Friedkin on The French Connection

On Tuesday this week, Our Man of the Antonii and I visited the Screen on the Green cinema to see William Friedkin in conversation with Mark Kermode.

Friedkin is probably most well known for being the director of The Exorcist but he also directed The French Connection. His appearance with Kermode was to celebrate / publicise the upcoming release of a "Blue Ray" version of the film.

As for Mark Kermode, if you want to know more about him, I strongly recommend you listen to his Friday afternoon film review with Simon Mayo on Radio Five Live. I don't always agree with everything he says (one would be foolish to), but his reviews and rants are excellent fun.

Back to Tuesday. Friedkin and Kermode took the stage (so's to speak) following a screening of The French Connection. We hadn't realised this would be the case, so, after making sure with the staff that we would be allowed back in, and, as I had watched the film on DVD the night before and Our Man wanted some food, we decamped to the nearby Pizza Express where I scorched my tongue on the mighty Etna pizza.

At 9:30 we returned to the Screen and caught the last few minutes of the picture. Then, Kermode lept out of nowhere and without even introducing himself (there was no need to as leaflets on the seats outlined the details of the evening), introduced us to Friedkin.

I don't know how old William Friedkin is, but he looked sprightly enough, even if he leaned against the screen because of his weak legs. For half an hour, Kermode and Friedkin talked conversationally about The French Connection. I didn't write anything down, so if any reader was at the event and wants to correct what I say, they should feel free.

Friedkin talked about how they filmed the famous car chase. It was only partially staged. When the car slams into the wall, I don't think it actually meant to do that. Some of the scenes - including the showdown between cops and gangsters - was filmed without permission on various properties. Gene Hackman hated his character 'Popeye' Doyle. The latter was your typical hard nosed cop, not averse to racism and other nastiness. Hackman, with his liberal sensitivities, was not having any of that. Consequently, Hackman and the real Doyle (whose name is Egan) who was on the set did not get on. The actor who played the French master criminal, well, he was actually Spanish. When Friedkin found out, he tried to have him sent home. But he didn't realise at the time that the first choice actor for that role was Spanish also.

The conversation became very light hearted at points. Early on, Kermode referred to an 'apocryphal' story. Friedkin was not sure what this meant. From then on, he referred to constantly to Kermode as the Doctor.

Following their conversation, questions were opened to the floor. Here, my memory lets me down. A few were taken, but the only one I can remember was the first - which was about giving advice to budding scriptwriters.

Anyway, it was a splendid occasion, and a real treat to see Kermode and a Hollywood master. It did make me think afterwards, though, how much I would have liked to have seen Anthony Minghella at an event like that. But now, that will never be.

• Here is another review of the evening

The Race to Dakar - Charley Boorman

In 2005 there was The Long Way Round - actors and friends Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman's motorbike ride round the world - last year came The Long Way Down - McGregor and Boorman motorbiking from Scotland to South Africa. Sandwiched in between the two in 2006 was Charley Boorman's Race to Dakar.

In 2006, I read the book of the race (and blogged about it here) and many months ago purchased the DVD. It went onto the book shelf and there remained until I finally felt inspired to watch it over the last couple of evenings.

Having enjoyed the book, I don't know why I waited so long to watch it. It was certainly a bad decision. The Dakar Rally must be the most intense, difficult and mad competition known to Man. As a viewing spectacle, it was utterly absorbing. In order to compete in the rally, you need to raise several bucket loads of money to buy your motorbike (or car or truck) and equipment. Then it has to pass a strict scrutineering process. Then you have to stay on your seat through thousands of miles of the most terrible terrain in north western Africa.

Charley Boorman, you would have thought, would have had a great advantage in his pursuit of a Dakar finish. He is a celebrity, after all, with all the pulling power in respect of sponsor's money that that involves. Well, how 'Team Boorman' paid for everything is not really looked at in any great depth in the DVD, but he certainly did not have an easy time of it before the race started. Firstly, while being a good motorcyclist, his off-road skills were in the beginning simply not good enough for the Dakar. Secondly, he suffered one or two accidents - including a broken collar bone just two months before the start of the race - that could have precluded his even making the start line.

Luckily, Boorman had a very confident and efficient team manager in Russ Malkin and an experienced teacher in Simon Pavey, who, along with motorcyclist Matt Hall, would ride the rally with him. Coming through thick and thin they made it to Lisbon.

That was the easy bit. After a sedentary ride through Portugal and Spain, the tough stuff began in north Africa. I can't describe how intense the race was. If you can imagine how hard it would be riding at speed through countless miles of dust and sand and stone and then exchanging that for sand dunes with dangerously quick cars coming up behind you then you will know what Boorman went through. But it was not just him who had problems - the support team (two mechanics and Malkin) had to contend with a very fragile X5 BMW. Their most difficult moment came when the X5 broke down in the middle of the desert. Thank goodness for GPS and satellite phones which allowed the spare part needed to be transported to them from many miles away.

Andy Caldecott (1964 - 2006)

All of Boorman's effort over the previous few months came to an end on Day Five of the competition when he broke both his hands following a most innocuous crash. Despite that, he had to drive for several hundred more miles to the next camp before he could get help. There were more poignant moments, most notably an interview with competitor Andy Caldecott just days before he died at the wheel of his bike after a crash.

The overriding (no pun intended) impression I have of The Race to Dakar is that it was not at all the Charley Boorman show but about all the members of the team. There were some great vignettes. My favourite was the young mechanic who left his girlfriend and work to come and fix the X5 not once but several times. I hope that, by now, his girlfriend has forgiven him!

If you like motorbikes and madcap races for nothing but glory, The Race to Dakar is required viewing. In this increasingly organised and dull-with-it world, it is heartening to see people acting in such a crazy way. BTW: After having been cancelled last January due to the threat of terrorism in Mauritania, the Rally is back on for Jan 2009. More details are available at the official website here. At the end of the 2006 event, Boorman umm'd and ahh'd over whether he would compete in the race again. I wonder if he ever made up his mind. Perhaps in two months we will find out.

Ravenhill at the Stoop

Harlequins 42 Ulster 21
It is always good to see new teams at the Stoop, although when they are as big as the Ulster players were and as noisy as their fans, the novelty soon wears off. The score indicates that Harlequins had an easy time of it in this Heineken Cup match but no one should think that Ulster gave nothing to the game.

But for a certain amount of indiscipline which lead to a yellow card for their flanker McCullough when he bodychecked Ugo Monye as he chased the ball over the try line the game would surely have been a lot closer. That yellow card lead to a penalty try and a couple more followed. Harlequins' discipline broke down some in the second half, leading to the yellow carding of Danny Care - who, up until that moment had had a splendid game - but by that point the team were 18 points up. Ulster scored two tries in the next ten minutes only for Quins to hit back with one of theior own. When that happened, the game was effectively over.

The Ulster fans deserve a special mention. They were certainly the loudest away fans that I have heard for some time. There was a fair amount of flag waving from them, including one flag that declared itself to come from the Falls Road which, I presume, is the Protestant area of Belfast. I am supposing that a Catholic founded team would not use the red hand in its badge.

Fans chanting at each other is not a key feature of rugby, but it happened yesterday. Ulster drew first blood after just a couple of minutes with a well taken try. "Easy! Easy!" The Ulster fans shouted. Of course, this meant that when the home side scored their first try, some Quins fans replied to Ulster's chant in kind.

Ulster are currently last in the Magniers league, with just seven points from five games. But if they tighten up their game and let their supporters carry them a bit it is hard to believe that they will stay there.

PS: I did take some photographs... but the digicam disagrees and says there are none in the memory!

From Manchester to Macedonia

When Malcolm Glazer took over Manchester United Football Club in 2005, he did so not only with money that he had but on the profits that he hoped United would make over the next few years.

A novel method of financing a deal? Not nearly. From Alexander at the Battle of the Granicus A Campaign In Context:

With his army and fleet gathered, Alexander was almost ready to leave for Asia. First, however, there was the giving of gifts and awards that was traditional for a Macedonian king about to set off for war... Alexander had just 70 talents in cash... he could not, therefore, afford to hand out money to his commanders, nobles and officials. Instead he chose to hand out farms, estates and even entire villages from the royal estates. He went further, giving at least some of his nobles the tax revenues from ports and districts for the coming years. He was, in effect, pledging the future revenues of his kingdom. The scale of the gift giving may not have been unprecedented, but the types of gifts were without parallel. [my emphesis]

A Berry By Any Other Name

Regular readers to this blog will know Berry Cat as either Berrydict the Papal Cat or the moggie that I try occasionally - and usually in vain - to turn into into a myrmicat (although I did score a success recently when he bravely slew a Daddy Long Legs).

At tea time this evening, Arathorn and Gilraen mentioned to me that SisterEvs had written a post about Berry. It is replete with photographs, so go take a look at it here! As you will see, Evs gives Berry a third name. Not quite Berry Bond, but near enough. Here is my favourite of her photos.

As you can guess, I like it because it shows Berry living up to his myrmicat status. At least, I hope his claws are unsheathed and that he is attacking something more than an empty crisp bag.

By The Way, when telling me about SisterEvs' post, Gilraen asked what exactly I meant by myrmicat. In case you don't know, the term is adapted from The Iliad where the soldiers of Achilles were called the myrmidon. They were the toughest soldiers of their day. Ironically, so far as Berry is concerned, the myrmidon were also known for their loyalty to their leader. Cats, of course, rightly expect you to be loyal to them. Anyway, to Gilraen, and anyone else who would like to learn more about the myrmidon, you can do so at Wikipedia here.

The Dark Knight Circa 1800

Every month I receive the excellent on-line newsletter from the Jane Austen Centre in Bath. This month's edition links to the Risky Regencies blog which answers the question that has no doubt crossed all our minds since the release of The Dark Knight this summer: What would a conversation between Batman and the Joker sound like if it was spoken in the style of a Jane Austen novel? Here is an excert.

You are just what a young man should not be," said Batman, "nonsensical, bad-humoured, lively; and I never saw such intemperate manners!--so much ease, with such perfect bad breeding!"

...that is one great difference between us. Chaos always take YOU by surprise, and ME never. What could be more natural than me asking you to compromise your principles, your integrity, your commitment to never varying your facial expression? I could not help seeing that you were about five times as self-righteous as every other man in Gotham City. No thanks to my perspicacity for that. Well, you certainly are very noticeable, and I give you leave to wear your unbending suit of petroleum derivatives as much as you please. You could have worn many a stupider costume."

Pictures from Saracens RFC

Thanks to Algeezer, I was given a free ticket to see Saracens play their first European Challenge Cup pool game on Sunday, against French Super 14 (First Division) side Mont de Marsan. The final score was 53 - 3 in favour of the home side!

A view of Vicarage Road stadium, home of Watford FC and Saracens

'The Men in Black' make their way onto the pitch

Sarries fans wave their flags

Not a UFO - another Saracens goal

That's Mont De Marsan in the yellow socks and the ref in the yellow top

The Ref signals Saracens 2nd penalty try

Red Faces In Wales

Scarlets 22 Harlequins 29
Well, how about that! After getting into the habit of taking half time leads and (nearly) blowing them in the second half, Harlequins came back from 19 - 3 down to thunder past the former Llanelli Scarlets and score a first win (I think) in the Heineken Cup since the club's return from National Division One in 2006. Quins' comeback inspired The Daily Telegraph to say this,

If Harlequins continue to respond to their coaching staff as they did at half-time on Saturday, a place in the quarter-finals of this season's Heineken Cup, is a realistic aim.

From The Times,

They made a remarkable comeback in which Danny Care and Ugo Monye scored tries and Malone kicked five penalty goals. The revival was sparked by incisive analysis and inspirational talking by John Kingston, the Harlequins head coach, who laid into his men at half-time, criticising them for allowing their opponents to run at them. He urged the Harlequins players to “get up and at their opponents - you're giving away far too much ball”. Harlequins also reminded themselves that not long ago, they had led 20-3 at half-time against London Irish - and lost. If it can be done to us, they must have thought, we can do it to them.

The Scarlets were shocked afterwards at the way their control of the match had been wrested away in the second half, when Care ran much more directly, and he and his team-mates were much more forceful. The Scarlets' concern was not alleviated by the prospect of going to Paris to play Stade Français in another pool four match this weekend.

Many Happy Returns K.H.J.S.B.G.E.!

Happy Birthday Heather!

Today is Ezair's birthday, which she is celebrating in the Caribbean. Nice. Hevs, thank you for mentioning Cally's Kitchen, but can you help my statistical figures by amending the link?!

You asked about the book - well, I should say that I am now working on another book as The Snapdragon Wall ground to a halt quite some ago. It is still about Nikki Fixx, but is a kind of prequel as the story takes place between 1983 - 90 when she is a teenager (Snapdragon takes place at the beginning of the nineties). It has no title as yet, but has the working title of Nikki Fixx in Glimmermere. Not very good, but it will do for now.

Nikki Fixx tells how Nikki becomes the most famous musician in the Patrician West. It is also about the cost of that ascent, which, for her, is an almost fatal one. It isn't just rock and roll stars who drink too much and take drugs! The other thing to say is that the setting for Nikki Fixx is a town in Colerado (America) called Glimmermere. It was originally going to be a mountain city but I decided to locate it in a valley instead. This is because it is the centre of creativeness in the patrician world. BTW, I like the name 'Glimmermere' very much, what do you think? It is a bit of an odd name. Perhaps too Tolkienesque.

The background to Nikki Fixx in Glimmermere is a crime purge that is being carried out by the Glimmermere Patriarch (the Lord Leonard). Up to the beginning of the story it has been very successful, but as the narrative begins (with Nikki's arrival in Glimmermere), the Crime Lords start to strike back. Nikki's career is intertwined with the Leonard Patriarch's purge.

Oh yes, and the story explains how Nikki comes to be called that (she much prefers Nicola) and where her nickname of Fixx comes from! So far, I have written a chapter-by-chapter outline of the whole book although I have not yet worked out many plot lines. My aim over the next few weeks will be to fit those in so that I am able to start the writing proper. Let me know if you would like to be kept informed as to my progress!

A Correction

I found the above images at Fr. Ray Blake's blog. He quotes Orbis Catholicus who writes,

When you visit Israel's holocaust memorial museum, the Yad Vashem, this is what you're greeted with as seen above. Photos are not allowed to be taken, and nobody outside is meant to see these pics. When you complain you get a smirk from the museum custodians.

Well, photos are not allowed to be taken, eh? Now that Orbis Catholicus has done us the favour of photographing the panels, the photographs deserve to be seen far and wide along with this fact: Pius XII saved over 750,000 Jews from the Nazis during the war. That's the truth. In this respect, Yad Vashem has told a lie. Shame on it.

Brideshead Revisited

A couple of days ago I went to see Brideshead Revisited. I am pleased to report that the film is not quite so breathless as the trailer. With that said, anyone who has seen the ITV version will still be left out of breath as the film takes just five minutes to cover the same amount of territory that took all of episode one (ninety minutes).

Speaking of the television Brideshead, if you are acquainted with it, or indeed with Evelyn Waugh's book, then you may expect to be disappointed by the film. Taken on its own terms, the film works but pales anaemically whenever compared to the book or ITV production.

When I first read Brideshead Revisited, I have to admit that I did not at all realise the importance of Catholicism to the story. Being very subtly handled, the Catholic aspect just passed me by. No such mistake could be made with the film. Catholicism is to the film version of Brideshead Revisited what Gordon Brown is supposed to be to politics - the clunking great fist. It barges into the story through the dogmatic and loveless character of Lady Marchmain (Emma Thompson). It tramples its way through the story through its wholly negative effect on Lady Marchmain's children, Sebastian (Ben Whishaw) and Julia (Hayley Atwell). Finally, it achieves what will surely be to the audiance an inexplicable and - literally - grave victory over the sensible atheist Charles Ryder by winning Julia back to the faith (and away from living in sin with him) following the deathbed conversion of her father, Lord Marchmain (Michael Gambon).

The image of the clunking fist of Catholicism is reinforced by the fact that the only ever explanation of the faith that we are given is that it is about guilt. We see the Flytes (i.e. Lady Marchmain and her family) at prayer, but these are forced prayers spoken by a family that is under the thumb of the fundamentalist mother; we also see Catholic icons, but they are not allowed to speak. The sacraments make no real appearance. If this film is to be believed, Catholics have it easy - they can commit a sin if they like because they can just go to confession afterwards. Sorted.

There is a scene in The Phantom Menace where Qui Gon Jinn and Ben Kenobi approach a space ship being guarded by robot guards. There is a brief dialogue between them, the purpose of which I have never been able to work out the meaning or context of. What was George Lucas thinking when he wrote it? There is a scene late in Brideshead Revisited when a priest is brought to Lord Marchmain's bedside. The camera looks at him from Lord Marchmain's perspective. He (the priest) has the mot extraordinary stupid smile on his face. Why? He is approaching a dying man and looks obscenely happy to be doing so. Was the writer of the film deliberately trying to show the priest - and through him, the Church - in a bad light? Given the anti-Catholic tone of the film, it is probable. It certainly fits in with the clunking fist approach of the film.

The lack of balance in the interpretation of Catholicism in Brideshead Revisited will disappoint and / or anger Catholics. But while it is a shame that the screenwriter appears to have written a script that is more informed by a fear / loathing of (fundamentalist) religion than by what Evelyn Waugh thought of the matter, one can at least say that the film has the courage of its convictions. It has chosen a line and taken it. It is the kind of film that The Golden Compass should have been, but was to scared to be. Speaking as a Catholic, however, this is a cold comfort.

The acting performances in Brideshead are good. Matthew Goode, who plays Charles Ryder, carries the film well. Ben Whishaw improves through the picture as Sebastian Flyte, which is funny because films are not shot in sequence. In one of the early scenes, he appears as an actor trying to sound upper class before looking genuinly noble later on. Hayley Atwell is good in her role of Julia Flyte. A credit must go to the make-up people because she looks much younger than she did when she played Lady Elizabeth Foster in The Duchess. Emma Thompson is convincing as Lady Marchmain, although attempts to age her did not feel so successful. Her hair was completely silver but without her face being appropriately wrinkled!

The secret star of the show, however, was Michael Gambon. His was a star turn as Lord Marchmain. His deathbed scenes were wonderfully handled. Of the minor characters, Joseph Beattie was very amusing as the ridiculous Anthony Blanche and I think Ed Stoppard based his character of Bridey Flyte on Cecil Vyse from A Room With A View, such were the similarities between them.

Brideshead Revisited is a fundamentally flawed film. Its failure to get to grips with what Catholicism actually is as opposed to what the screenwriter thinks it is makes it a narrative failure; however, the picture is very watchable and worth a discussion afterwards. One also cannot fault the costuming and scenary. Oh, and most important of all, the inclusion after all of Aloysius the Bear.

Mona Lisa

What position do you think she would have played in?

Get Shirty

Stade Français rugby club have form in rugby shirts that look like anything but rugby shirts. But their latest effort certainly stands out even from their previous creations.

When I first saw the shirt, I thought they had achieved that holy synthesis of religion and rugby, albeit the image looked vaguely blasphemous or something; however, I have since learnt learnt that the image is not of notre dame but Blanche de Castille - wife of Louis VIII and mother of Louis IX. It's good to see that Royalism in France is not dead!

Black Being The New White

The collapse of our banks is turning the world upside down. Gordon Brown thinks that he is the man to deal with the crisis, even though as Chancellor he let the Banks behave so irresponsibly over the last decade; right wing blogger, Guido Fawkes, advocates press censorship as a means of stabilising the markets, while on Radio Five Live this morning, the city guest said with the straightest of straight faces that the British Bank chiefs should not be made to resign because, well, getting rid of them would only exacerbate the problem. So, as well as being financial incompetant, it now appears that our banks do not have a proper chain of command. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

Thunderball - Ian Fleming

As regular readers of this blog know, I am currently reading my way through Ian Fleming's James Bond books. A few days ago, I finished Thunderball.

The copyright page of the book explains that the book is based on a film treatment written by Fleming and a couple of others. This was not a good start to the reading because it gave me the impression that the novel is a kind of hand me down story. Well, it may have been, but it was a good one nonetheless.

Thunderball does suffer a little from being written for the big screen. All of a sudden we learn that SMERSH has been dismantled (by Krushchev) and M's secretary, Miss Moneypenny, gets the scene that used to go to Bond's own secretary, Miss Ponsonby. There's nothing wrong with either, but the abrupt manner in which both occurred was disappointing. (NB: Did you know that SMERSH was a real life organisation but that it was actually closed down after the end of the Second World War?).

The story is most notable for the introduction of Bond's arch-enemy Ernst Stavro Blofeld, the head of the criminal super-organisation, SPECTRE. (Here is another in parenthesis fact, Blofeld was named after Tom Blofeld, a friend of Fleming's. Tom Blofeld was the father of cricket commentator, Henry Blofeld). SPECTRE has carried out various acts of extortion and terrorism, but its latest job - also meant as its last - is the big one: the theft of two British nuclear bombs (the thunderballs of the title) and holding of the West to ransom.

The search for the bombs begins and it is concentrated in the big cities one or two of which Blofeld has threatened to destroy in a few days if his ransom is not paid. Yet, that is not where Bond goes. M has a hunch that they might be found in the Bahamas and sends Bond to check out his theory for him. Bond is not too happy about this for as far as he is concerned, he is being sent to nowhere while the action unfolds elsewhere. Another person who is displeased is Felix Leiter, who has come to help him.

Of course, M's hunch turns out to be correct and so the race is on to capture the bombs before they can be sent to their final destination. This race - underwater - is the dramatic finale to the book.

Bond's girl in Thunderball is Italian Dominetta 'Domino' Vitali. She is not a wholly memorable character being very similar in temperament to the likes of Honeychile Rider and Tiffany Case. Her entrance, though, is dramatic, at the wheel of a very fast car. Otherwise, I think I might most remember her as the girl who Bond made love to before telling her that her beloved brother had been killed. Cruel but very like Bond.

Leiter is, however, great. Fleming does well to make him work even though he lacks various limbs. Blofeld is a suitably menacing villain (the way he deals with dissent in the boardroom is beautifully nasty) but the bad end is kept up by the unemotional powerhouse that is Emilio Largo. He is not unlike Red Donovan in his character but is well served by both his character and the story.

The best scene in the book is right at the end. Largo is dead, the bombs have been found. Bond is in hospital recovering from his injuries. Despite being too ill to move, he staggers into Domino's room to check on her. Having done so, he then collapses in her arms. It is a wonderfully gentle and vulnerable moment.

Ospreys snatch their meal

Ospreys 24 Harlequins 23Well, that wasn't a result I was expecting. Ospreys are the Anglo Welsh Cup title holders for whom most of the Wales side play (and played yesterday) while Harlequins were fielding a second XV. As it turned out, however, the game took on a form that was very similar to the last couple of games - Quins took a great 3 - 14 lead at the end of the first half only to allow Ospreys back into the game in the second. Unlike against London Irish a week last Saturday, however, one can't complain about the loss given the nature of the team that Dean Richards put out.

The Times on-line puts the game into context:

It would be easy to mistake the Ospreys, the cup holders, for Wales - certainly four of the national team's management were watching - while Harlequins had only one survivor from Thursday's starting XV (Chris Robshaw) in their side. Yet it took an injury-time conversion by James Hook to edge the Ospreys ahead and ensure that all four Welsh regions opened this tournament victorious.

BBC On-Line highlights who was in the Ospreys team

The Welsh hosts were... boosted by the return of Gavin Henson, the Wales and Lions centre making his first start since a serious ankle injury last April.

While The Telegraph explains how Quins reacted when their backs were well and truly up against the wall.

[Harlequins'] numerical disadvantage appeared to galvanise the rest and while down to 14 men, the visitors struck first in the second half when De Wet Barry crossed at the posts.

Luveniyali's conversion further cut the deficit, and hooker Tani Fuga's try five minutes later left the Ospreys facing defeat.

Not As Pretty As Sarah Palin, But A Win Is A Win

Worcester Warriors 23 Harlequins 30Life is busy and rugby union games are suddenly coming ever so close together. Thus, on the eve of Quins' first Anglo-Welsh Cup game against Ospreys, I am finally writing this post on their Premiership game against Worcester, which took place on - Thursday.

The game was played at Sixways Stadium, where I was not. Instead, I was ensconsed in a London watering hole with Our Man of the Antonii, 5MinJim, Akhtar Serious and even Yo Man Jonny, who was making his once yearly appearance. And, quite frankly, that was enough!

Well, you would be delighted to know that we had a super time. Much nonsense was spoken, 5MinJim had a great argument with Toon slave Akhtar Serious over Newcastle United's current crisis. Basically, in 5MJ's opinion, Newcastle are rubbish and, Kevin Keegan is not the Messiah (just a very rubbish manager). AS was, of course, of quite the opposite opinion. Cue much ranting. Great fun.

As for me, I joined in the conversation between feverish attempts to access the BBC website on my mobile phone and text messages home to find out the score. At half time, it looked like Harlequins were sitting pretty on a 13 - 27 lead. But so we were last Saturday... And yet again, the opposition came back strongly in the second half. Worcester won it 10 - 3, but as the score shows, in the end, did not have the strength to overwhelm the visitors. As a result, the game ended in Harlequins' favour 23 - 30.

Here is how BBC On-Line started its report:

Harlequins played some impressive rugby on their way to condemning Worcester to their fourth Premiership defeat.

The Guardian reveals how.

Quins turned defence into attack with alacrity. They scored three tries in less than five minutes - after Matthew Jones had given Worcester the lead with a sixth-minute drop-goal - by exploiting mistakes and space. Chris Latham found himself moved from one side of the field to the other and seldom has the former Wallaby full-back's lack of instant acceleration been so ruthlessly exposed.

As mentioned above, in the second half, Worcester fought back. Not hard enough to grab the win, but, according to the Daily Telegraph, something else.

A further penalty by Malone, from almost inside his own half, gave Quins breathing space at 30-20 going into the last quarter. Quins made the finale difficult for themselves. Malone missed two penalty goal attempts and Tom Guest was sin-binned which allowed Jones to grab another three points which gave Worcester a losing bonus.

The Battle of Gaugamela 331BC

Yesterday was the 2,339th anniversary of the Battle of Gaugamela - Alexander's third and decisive victory over the armies of Darius III. Following the battle, Alexander became high king of the now former Persian Empire. Darius was bound in chains and murdered by his own men.

I only discovered this glad news midway through the afternoon when I read the neat little 'On This Day' function on the BBC Website. Cue me telling any poor member of my office who would listen what I had just discovered!

After work, and determined to celebrate the day, I went straight to my nearest bookshop and bought a copy of Alexander at the Battle of the Granicus: A Campaign in Context by Rupert Matthews (available at Amazon here). The Granicus River (in Asia Minor - Turkey) was where Alexander fought his first battle against Darius, although the Great King was not present on the battlefield on that occasion. Not that he remained there for long at Issus, the second battle, or at Gaugamela.

Unfortunately, I do not know of any books on Gaugamela. Perhaps the sources do not give it enough attention to gain an understanding of the dispositions of the two armies on that day. Anyway, armed with my book, I then went to the nearest pub, sat down, drank and read. In his later days, Alexander overdrank and was probably an alcoholic. You will be pleased to hear that I was not so indulgent.

Read more about Gaugamela at Wikipedia here.
Alternatively, watch the opening of Oliver Stone's film Alexander. Although, this is not recommended for people with weak stomachs!