Douglas Gresham in the Church Times

Last June, the Church Times ran a two page interview with Douglas Gresham, stepson of C. S. Lewis, to coincide with the release of Prince Caspian. A copy reached me last night, courtesy of Gilraen.

It is an interesting interview.

As I understand it (and I am open to correction in all these matters), when Lewis died, the ownership of his literary estate fell to his two stepsons - Douglas and David Gresham*. They sold their shares in the 70s to investors. Quite who those investors are, I am not sure (is anyone?) but their names are not needed here. Because who ever they were, they hired Douglas Gresham in the 80s as a consultant to the estate (I once read that David Gresham converted to Judaism and moved to India where he has let go his younger life). Reading the Church Times interview, however, you are given the impression that far from being simply a consultant, Gresham is still the owner of the Lewis estate.

For example, the interviewer, Malcolm Doney, asks Gresham, "Why have you waited until now to allow the Chronicles to be made into films?" In his response, Gresham gives no indication that - as I think is the case - the decision was not his to make one way or the other. The owners of C. S. Lewis Pte Ltd - to whom he sold his shares - hold that right. In fact, he replies as if the right was his. I wonder if anyone can put me right here?

Elsewhere in the interview, Gresham contradicts himself. He is asked "What do you feel about Christian organisations bringing out study guides and religious education lesson-plans in response to the films?" Gresham doesn't like them at all, saying, "... there is no better way of putting potential readers off a book than by making it the object (or subject) of "study"... I wish people would just let folks read the books, and toss all the study guides to the place most suited to them."

Yet, later on, when he is asked "Some very conservative Christians have accused C. S. Lewis of paganism, and worse. What do you think of that?" Gresham berates them thus, "These poor folk to not know the nature of myth, having never studied it; do not know the nature of paganism, having never studied that, either; and do not know the nature of Jack, never having studied him..." Er, that'll be because they took your advice about throwing away their study aides.

There are, however, a couple of excellent answers / ripostes in the interview. Gresham is asked if Lewis was 'a bit of a Platonist?' to which he answers with great honesty, 'Never having studied Plato, I have no idea.'

Finally, he gives the best response yet to the vexatious question of what happened to Susan. Doney asks, "Was C. S. Lewis hard on Susan?" Gresham replies, "No, not at all; it is we who are hard on Susan. Well, not me, perhaps, but all the rest of you. You all seem determined that Susan must be in hell, because she does not appear in The Last Battle. I have no idea what happened to Susan, and nor do you." Take that, Philip Pullman.

You can read the full interview here.

* With Walter Hooper being the actual executor

ELV and Safety

The new Rugby Union season is 7 Days away. I have been given a ticket to the Double Header and so will be in attendance to see Harlequins play Saracens. Can't wait. Before then, however, the rule changes that strangely have not been exciting the blogosphere, namely, the ELVS.

No, Middle-earth has not come to Rubgy Union. ELVS stands for Experimental Law Variations. After being trialled in South Africa (The ELVS have the alternative name of ' the Stellenbosch Rules' from the university which first used them) the southern hemisphere clubs tried them out. At that point, I heard that they turned union into (shiver) league.

Having read yesterday's Guardian newspaper, however, I don't think I would be quite so harsh. According to The Gaurdian, there are four big changes under the ELVS. They are:

1. Under the old rules, it was illegal for the defending team to pull down a maul. Now, under the ELVS, you can do so - as long as you pull no lower than the upper body. Pulling down by the legs is still illegal.

In case you don't know, a maul is when the attacking team groups round the ball carrier as if they were about to start a scrum and then drives forward.

2. Players can now collapse a maul by driving forward with their heads and shoulders lower than their hips. If I read this correctly, it sounds like a maul could create a scrum like situation. Anyway, under the old rules, the head had to stay higher than the shoulders and hips.

The aim of the ELVS here is to create a more open game and to stop one team dominating possession. That, of course, can only be a good thing, although the sight of a rolling maul charging up the pitch to score a try is one of my favourite sights in rugby so I will miss it.

3. There no longer needs to be equal numbers in a line-out. The minimum number required from both sides is two, but you could have one team with all XV facing the other with just two! The Guardian states that at the line-out the scrum-halves and non throwing hooker must remain 'two metres away from the line to give the referee a clear view of any skullduggery in the line-out'. Ha!

4. Formerly, if a team was under pressure just outside its 22 (e.g. in a scrum), the scrum-half would throw the ball back to the Fly-half who would be standing just behind the 22 line. he could then kick the ball forward into touch to relieve the strain and win a line-out. Under the ELVS, the line-out would no longer take place where the ball went off, but where the fly-half was standing when he kicked the ball forward.

The Guardian says these are the four main changes. I quite like (3) and (4). Especially (4). No team under pressure should be allowed a get-out-of-jail card. They should be made to break out the hard way. All the more glory if they do so.

The "Where Were You When..." Meme

Mars Hill has meme'd me! 'Where was I when... '

Princess Diana's death - 31 August 1997

I was staying in my English tutor's house in Dundee looking after her pet cat while she was on holiday. Diana's death was, of course all very surprising and sad, but not half as much as the woeful behaviour of the British press and people in the days following. My contempt for anything which refers to 'the people's...' comes from this period. On 31st August 1990 I saw Guns N Roses play at Wembley stadium for the first time.

Margaret Thatcher's resignation - 22 November 1990

I was working for the Ministry of Defence. I should think I only heard the news when I got home after a day in the job that I knew within three weeks of starting that I was not made for. Maggie's resignation was very exciting as, being a fan of Heseltine, I thought the way was clear for him to take the top job. Sadly, on this day in 1963, C. S. Lewis died at just after 5pm in the afternoon. It would be three more years before I got to know him through his works, at university.

Attack on the twin towers - 11 September 2001

I was at work. We did not have internet access then and so did not hear the news until a member of the IT staff came in to the office and told us. At first, I thought he was joking. My brother - Algeezer - was in New York at the time but fortunately was no where near the World Trade Centre.

England's World Cup Semi Final v Germany - 4 July 1990

Goodness, I have no idea. I was probably watching the game. On 1st September 2001, England beat Germany 1 - 5 in Munich. I was in the pub with friends that night and we kept hearing cheers from the football watching pub goers and could not understand why. England never beat Germany let alone by five goals!

President Kennedy's Assassination - 22 November 1963

I was chasing Pius XII off the grassy knoll.

To end this meme, here is an addition of my own:

The election of Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger to the papacy

I walked in through the door having come home from work. Arathorn and Gilraen watching television. I can't remember if they were watching the election coverage but if not, we turned the TV over and, not long later, saw the white smoke emerge from the Sistine Chapel. A short while later, the inscrutable Cardinal Estevez emerged and this always worth repeating scene followed...

As for who to tag - I tag anyone who fancies trying this meme out.

The Fall of the Roman Empire

A sad day today, being the 1532nd anniversary of the end of the Roman Empire. On this day in AD 476, the Gothic warlord Odoacer forced the Roman Emperor, Romulus Augustus to abdicate his throne. This was a seismic event in that it brought to an end the office of Emperor and Roman power in the west but could not have been unexpected by Roman citizens - the Empire in the west had been ailing ever since the sack of Rome by Alaric's Visigoths in 410 (witnessed by St. Augustine).

The English historian Edward Gibbon blamed Christianity for Rome's fall. But his reasoning, that the Empire had with the rise of Christianity become effete and therefore unable to defend itself, is risible. Consider the example of Constantine. On the eve of the battle of the Milvian Bridge, as Constantine got ready to fight his opponent for the Imperial throne, Maxentius, Constantine saw a cross in the sky. On it was written 'in hoc signo vinces' (conquer by this sign). But he did not go on to win the Roman Empire by becoming a pacifist. Neither did he let up following his assumption of the imperial purple. Consider also the example of the Warrior Monks in the Middle Ages, the Crusades etc etc.

Of course, there were many reasons why the Roman Empire fell but I think a - if not the - major factor behind them all was the weakness caused to authority by the fact that it was really a normal practice to claim the throne by violent means. No society which allows that to happen can last.

As for Romulus Augustus, he is more commonly known as Augustulus ('little Augustus'). Not because he was short, I think, but because by the time he came to power in 475 the western empire had shrivelled to a fraction of a fraction of its former size.

Augustulus was still a teenager when Odoacer deposed him. The best proof that he had become an insignificant figure was that unlike many of his deposed predecessors he was not assassinated in 476 but allowed to live out the rest of his days in peace in retirement in southern Italy.

Quins On The March

The new Rugby Union Premiership season is but 12 Days away and I am getting a little excited. As surely as night follows day, Harlequins will win the league title, EDF Cup and Heineken Cup. Hurrah! Back on planet earth, however, the Mighty Quins have only been mighty-ish in their pre-season friendlies.

On 16th August, Harlequins beat the British Army 22 - 12 in the final of the Middlesex 7s at Twickenham (tournament report here). At the same time as this little triumph, however, the First-ish XV lost 24 - 8 to Connacht in Ireland. On Saturday, however, they bounced back to beat London Irish at the Stoop 27 - 24. Next up is Parma.

Unfortunately, I did not attend the L. Irish game and will not be at the Stoop for the visit of Parma. This is principally because of the ticketing policy for the games. The full adult ticket to these games - friendlies, remember - is £20.

£20! Harlequins may be the best team in the English Premiership, but that really is a bit steep for what is in effect a glorified work-out for the team.

I mentioned the British Army above. One game I will try and ticket a ticket for is the Help For Heroes Rugby Challenge. Help for Heroes is the charity that looks after wounded soldiers and is hosting a special match to raise money for a rehabilitation home in the Midlands. There is more on its website here. Ex-Quins star Will Greenwood will be playing, as will Rugby Legend And God (RL&G) Martin Johnson.

"If I see that Pius XII killing the ball, I will have him."

A regrettable incident in one ways than one

Some people just love to be offended and last night, as the Beijing Olympics came to a thankful end, they got the chance to indulge in their favourite past time. At a party advertising London as a tourist destination, a video was shown in which was seen ('fleetingly') a portrait of Moors murderer Myra Hindley.

According to BBC On-Line, the Mayor's Office said that the Mayor himself was 'extremely disturbed' by the use of the portrait. If that is the case, one can only hope that he will seek counselling upon his return to London lest he be unfit to continue in his post. Perhaps the media will keep us updated on that story.

Downing Street was more measured in its response, saying that the portrait's appearance was 'in extremely poor taste'. Well, if Visit London had intended to suggest that Myra Hindley was a part of British culture then I would certainly have agreed. But was it? Anne Widdicombe, meanwhile, may need the same therapist as Boris, saying, "I do find it utterly extraordinary that if we're trying to promote Britain, we should do so with an image of an mass child murder."

I think we can safely assume that Visit London was not using Myra Hindley to promote the capital. The clue to this really rather obvious fact is the context in which the portrait appears: an art gallery. The video shows various shots of London to build a picture of her culture. We can say, therefore, that the portrait of Hindley was used, not to promote the woman herself, but Britain's on-the-edge artistic scene.

Of course, one could still argue that there are surely better pieces of art that could be used to promote London and this is no doubt true. I am sure we would all have been happy to see Tracy Emin's unmade bed or Martin Creed's Work No. 227 The Lights Going On And Off but as Visit London's video has now been made, the least that should be done is understand what it is and not what we think it is. We may still disagree with its use, but at least we are disagreeing with what is real, not a figment of our distressed imaginations.

Fern Cottage

Once, during a trip to the Birmingham Oratory, the late Gerard Tracey showed me a few documents relating to J. R. R. Tolkien and his brother Hilary from the period following the death in 1904 of their mother Mabel, when the brothers were under the guardianship of Fr. Francis Xavier Morgan of the Oratory. The most notable of these was an expenses book. Such a little thing but it was a great privilage to hold something connected to JRRT.

On another occasion, one of the Oratory Fathers took me down a little used staircase and showed me a trunk that had belonged to Mabel Tolkien. Presumably it had been brought to the Oratory in 1904 and remained there ever since. Speaking of Mabel Tolkien, also on the Tolkien Society website is news that the cottage where the Tolkien brothers stayed just prior to Mabel's death from diabetes is now a privately owned holiday home. Here it is: Well, if ever there was a good reason to delay no longer and visit Birmingham, here it is: the chance to stay in an old home of Tolkien's. The house is called Fern Cottage and is run by a couple who are themselves Tolkien fans. Their lovely website is here.

Pauline Baynes (1922 - 2008)

I have just read the sad news on the website of the Tolkien Society that Pauline Baynes, who illustrated both Tolkien's Middle-earth and C. S. Lewis's Narnia books died at the beginning of August. For an excellent obituary, visit Brian Sibley's blog here.

Pauline Baynes Requiescat in Pace

Were You There When Pius XII Ruined The World, Were You There?

An interesting Comment page in the Catholic Herald this week.

Amongst the letters, there is this excellent one from Mr. Sean O'Connor or Tonbridge, Kent.

SIR- I was astonished to read in Andrew Brown's review of Gerard Noel's book Pius XII: The Hound of Hitler the assertion [that] Pius XII contributed to causing the First World War and also contributed to causing the Second World War.

I remember reading the review last week and being similarly surprised. At school, we were told that it was the assassination of the Arch Duke Ferdinand that kicked off the Great War and that its underlying reasons were the imperial ambitions of the great powers of the day - Britain, France, Germany etc. Mr O'Connor continues,

Before Gerard Noel tells us (unless he already has) that it was Pius XII that sank the Titanic, it will be as well to call to mind what Pius XII was actually like.

Which he proceeds to do my satisfaction. And yet, where was Eugenio Pacelli in 1912? Could he have been on a one-man mission to destroy this modern Babel? It is an amusing thought. I hope to read The Hound of Hitler some time soon so look forward to Mr Noel's reasoning very much.

It was Pius wot done it

Further down the page is a depressingly familiar letter from Mr E. B. Totman. A bad choice of words; this isn't another depressingly familiar letter from him, but is depressingly familiar in theme. After making a valid point about the use of Latin in the Liturgy (although not one that I would agree with), Mr Totman states that we ought to be using the vernacular because '[w]e Catholics need to be relevant to the people of today." Oh dear. If Fr. Z. was here, he would be having kittens already - and rightly so. As for debates over the translation of the Mass, well, Mr Totman continues,

Those who would spend their time insisting that we should supplant "I am not worthy to receive you" with "I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof" should consider what relevance such distinctions have to the world we are seeking to evangelise.

Let those responsible roll up their sleeves, get out among the people, spread Christ's word among the poor, the needy and those who have never heard of Him - but please, speak to them in a language they can readily identify with.

Why, oh why do critics of the Mass in Latin insist upon this false dichotomy of Liturgy vs Action? Why are they such utilitarians? Where, in fact, is their knowledge of the Bible?

Finally, a very agreeable column from Pastor Iuventus. He describes how on Assumption Day he visited Westminster Cathedral for confession. After he had given his and been absolved, the priest in the confessional asked the young priest to hear his own. How precious a moment to God that must have been. On the practical level, however, I thought that priests had to wear their stoles when hearing confessions. Perhaps this is not the case? The confessionals at the Cathedral are partitioned down the middle so the Pastor and his confessor would not have been able to pass one to the other.

Oh, I should also mention another letter as well. The writer refers to a priest who preached on Humanae Vitae. About time too, thought the writer. Unfortunately, the priest went on to 'condemn it explicitly and at length and to apologise to the congregation for the damage he considered it had done'. Shame, shame on him. It did not take long for something to bring back to one the warning given in Idle Speculations.

Caesar, Pius IX and Epilepsy

A second post from Idle Speculations has also caught my notice. According to neurologists, Pope Pius IX (who reigned gloriously between 1846 and 1878) suffered from epilepsy. Read all about it here. Another famous epileptic was, of course, Julius Caesar. This website (citing Plutarch) says that he suffered an epileptic fit during the Battle of Thapsus. This battle took place in 46 BC - two years after Pharsalus - outside the African town from which it derived its name. It ended the Republican resistance to Caesar's authority in the province of Africa so can be seen as part of Caesar's post-Pharsalus moping up operation.

According to the website referred to above, there is disagreement among the ancient authors over whether Caesar's epilepsy was caused by cerebral sclerosis or alcohol. The Romans liked to drink - as most people do - but it is my understanding that Julius Caesar was famous for being abstemeous in this regard. As for cerebral sclerosis, it is a degenerative disease that (mainly?) affects children and young adults, resulting in early death. Its symptoms include mental deterioration and 'motor disturbance'. Julius Caesar was 55 when he was assassinated in 44 BC but to the best of my knowledge was not suffering from any particularly bad ill health.

The Danger of Criticising Bishops and Priests

I have been readng the Idle Speculations blog. Therein is a very good post, which ought to be widely read and reread about the dangers of criticising priests and bishops. Not that we should not criticise them at all, but if we do, with love not anger. The post quotes from Fr. T. G. Morrow's article The Danger of Criticising Bishops and Priests,

"I remember well the quip of my pre-ordination retreat director: “Isn’t it interesting that in this age when we have so few vocations to the priesthood, we have so many vocations to the episcopacy.” And, we might add, to the papacy!

When people publicly criticize a bishop, or any man, for that matter, the one criticized will often dig in his heels for his position even he may not care that much about it.

He does that to show that he won’t be manipulated by those who try to strong-arm him, even if the criticism is well-intended or well-placed.

On the other hand, people such as St. Catherine of Siena and St. Bernard of Clairvaux had tremendous influence over bishops by their letters. It is not hard to see why: their letters were humble and respectful, and full of love.

The article continues here.

More on The Dark Knight

As mentioned previously, I went to see The Dark Knight again, following an aborted attempt due to sound problems. As you might expect, I was able to savour the film more, drink in more of the action and appreciate better the actors' performances. In regards the latter, this did not change my mind about Heath Ledger's turn as the Joker. He still does not deserve an Oscar.

There is one scene in the film where Bruce Wayne and his latest girlfriend eat dinner with Harvey Dent and Rachel Dawes. As they discuss the role of the Batman, Harvey mentions - with approval - how in times of trouble the Romans turned their city over to a dictator. The only problem with that, Rachel retorts, is that the last person to whom the city last turned - Caesar - never gave up his dictatorial power afterwards.

Rachel Dawes' point is a good one, although while I cannot remember the exact circumstances, I am fairly sure that Caesar engineered his appointment as dictator rather than was appointed to it, say, in the way that that paragon of dictatorial power, Lucius Quinctius Cincinnatus (after whom the American city of Cincinnati is named)was in the fifth century BC.

Something that I picked up from seeing the film again was the way in which the characters resolutely refer to their city as 'Gotham' as opposed to 'Gotham City', which I am sure was the norm in the previous films / TV series.

But one never hears of London City, Los Angeles City or Toronto City. New York City is more common, but perhaps that makes it the exception that proves the rule. So, why would previous writers refer to Gotham as Gotham City? Perhaps because it was a fictional name, they felt the need - consciously or otherwise - to insert 'city' to remind viewers of what it was. In doing that, can we say that there was a lack of connection in their minds between the thing called 'Gotham' and the city that the name refers to? A lot of conjecture.

One final point is the continued excellence of the special effects in film, particularly in respect of Harvey Dent's face (which is computer generated, answering my question when I first saw the film of how on earth they managed to alter it so comprehensively and even show his damaged side eye moving) but also, for example, in the bullets which hit the police van as Dent is being transported to jail. I presume little charges are used to recreate the effect of the bullets? Of course, the simple things are still the most effective. While the car chase was grand, on the third occasion that I saw The Dark Knight, I still jumped in my seat when the fake Batman hit the window of the mayor's window - even though I knew it was coming!

• When I wrote my original review of The Dark Knight (here), I couldn't access Stainless Steel Droppings to link to his review. I can now, so here it is. Except for anywhere where he disagrees with me, Carl V is right on, as they say, 'the money'! Oh, and to Londiniensis, re: your comment - you are most welcome!

The Revenger's Tragedy

Last Saturday, I visited the National Theatre on the Sarf Bank to see The Revenger's Tragedy with my old university tutor and her partner. What a play. Written by Thomas Middleton in c.1606, it is part of the Elizabethan blood and guts (revenge) theatrical tradition and is emphatically not for the faint hearted.

The National's production of the play goes for broke. It opens with an orgy that reaches its height - or, more truthfully, its nadir - with a very graphic rape scene. The revenger of the play is Vindice who is seeking revenge for the murder of his lover, Gloriana, by the Duke of Verona (or somesuch Italian city). Vindice's quest is accompanied by loud, thumping music that makes the heart tremble, sensuous dancing and much swigging of alcohol. Vindice's world is a corrupt and violent one. I don't know what the final body count for the play is, but most of the murders take place at the end of the final act when, having succeeded in killing the Duke, Vindice makes the fatal error of admitting his crimes. His own execution brings about the revenger's tragedy.

The Revenger's Tragedy is a loud and bombastic play. The characters shout their lines rather like a Marlovian character might be expected to. Not for Middleton is the subtlety of Shakespeare. The general wildness of the atmosphere makes one think that the players were over-acting, but I don't think they were.

Speaking of the actors, while there were no household names among them, there were two who -shamefully - I never recognised until I read their biographies afterwards. The first was Eliot Cowan who played Ptolemy in Alexander. Here, he was the licentious and altogether dissolute Lussurioso. Actually, given the way they carried on, some of the later Ptolemies (from Soter's son, Thunderbolt, onwards) would have been quite at home in Lussurioso's company. The other actor, or rather, actress, was Barbara Flynn who played Beatrix Potter's mother in Miss Potter. Needless to say, neither Miss or Mrs Potter would have wanted to be within 100 miles of the goings on at the Duke's court.

I was told that The Revenger's Tragedy has received bad reviews for being over the top but I have to say that I enjoyed it a lot. It is surely a full on production in order to appeal to younger folk but the play itself is a mad one so must deserve such a treatment. Well worth a visit by anyone not on medication.

Only Joking!

Did you hear about the parachutist who landed on a football pitch?
He was booked for dissent.

Did you hear about the scarecrow who got a first at university?
His tutor said that he was the best in his field.

6:15 Express to Heaven

This morning I was up at the crack of dawn to serve Mass in the Old Rite at a church well known for its unrepentant recusancy... It was the first time I had served Mass in the Extraordinary Form since last December (which was my first time ever in the role), so was very much a case of starting all over again. Well, the Latin responses were fine, but it was a bit of a job trying to remember whether I should be this side of the altar or that etc. Fortunately, there was no one in the congregation to embarrass myself in front of-! Thankfully, the priest was tolerant!

Anyway, I will now institute a programme of learning so that next time this fabulous opportunity comes up, I will be able to serve more efficiently. This could mean turning my desk into a fake altar. But if I am to play the part of serve, I will need a priest. Where is Berrydict when you need him?

An Absent Father

Is something rotten in the Diocese of Leeds? I have been reading Damian Thompson's reports (here is the latest) concerning the closure of St John the Evangelist in Allerton Bywater this past week or so with a bewildered eye. Unless Thompson has fibbed from start to finish in his account of how Bishop Arthur Roche and his staff have handled the closure of St John's then His Grace has a few questions to answer about his conduct and the conduct of those working in his name. For example, how can he tolerate his officials writing illiterate e-mails and failing to respond to the concerns of the faithful?

A bishop is a shepherd to his flock; a father to his children. If he fails in those roles, he is nothing and not only is not worthy of his post but perhaps not even worthy to be followed.

To the best of my knowledge, we have only had one side of the story from Leeds. I am not counting the contribution of the belligerent idiot 'priest', Fr. Martin, who has darkened the doorsteps of the Holy Smoke and Orthfully Catholic blogs with his bullying claptrap. Damian Thompson believes this person to be a senior priest of Leeds Diocese while the Seminarians think he is from Liverpool. I shall just hope that he is a belligerent layman until the case is proven otherwise. It is the best favour I can do for Leeds. Anyway, it is very unfortunate that the Bishop has not made a statement to defend himself. Even just a word to show that he cares for those under his spiritual charge would be nice.

Harlequins Fixture List 2008/09

16.08.08 Connacht 24 Harlequins 8 (A - Friendly)
23.08.08 Harlequins 27 London Irish 24 (H - Friendly)
30.08.08 Harlequins 64 Parma 6 (H - Friendly)
06.09.08 Saracens 21 Harlequins 24 (A - Premiership) my report
13.09.08 Harlequins 31 Bristol Rugby 13 (H - Premiership) my report
20.09.08 Gloucester Rugby 24 Harlequins 20 (A - Premiership) my report
27.09.08 Harlequins 27 London Irish 28 (H - Premiership) my report
02.10.08 Worcester Warriors 23 Harlequins 30 (A - Premiership) my report
05.10.08 Ospreys 24 Harlequins 23 (A - EDF Energy Cup) my report
11.10.08 Llanelli Scarlets 22 Harlequins 29 (A - Heineken Cup) my report
18.10.08 Harlequins 42 Ulster Rugby 21 (H - Heineken Cup) my report
25.10.08 Harlequins 17 London Irish 32 (H - EDF Energy Cup) my report
01.11.08 Worcester Warriors 14 Harlequins 27 (A - EDF Energy Cup) my report
16.11.08 Harlequins 32 Wasps 10 (H - Premiership) my report
22.11.08 Leicester Tigers 27 Harlequins 14 (A - Premiership) my report
30.11.08 Harlequins 21 Bath Rugby 14 (H - Premiership) my report
06.12.08 Stade Francais Paris 10 Harlequins 15(A - Heineken Cup) my report
13.12.08 Harlequins 19 Stade Francais Paris 17 (H - Heineken Cup) my report
20.12.08 Northampton Saints 23 Harlequins 13 (A - Premiership) my report
27.12.08 Harlequins 26 Leicester Tigers 26 (H - Premiership) my report
04.01.09 Wasps 24 Harlequins 18 (A - Premiership) my report
10.01.09 Harlequins P Worcester Warriors P (H - Premiership) pitch frozen!

17.01.09 Ulster Rugby 24 Harlequins 10 (A - Heineken Cup) my report

24.01.09 Harlequins 29 Llanelli Scarlets 24 (H - Heineken Cup) my report

31.01.09 Harlequins 27 Northampton Saints 6 (H - Premiership) my report

14.02.09 London Irish 9 Harlequins 14 (A - Premiership) my report
21.02.09 Harlequins 14 Gloucester Rugby 9 (H - Premiership) my report
01.03.09 Bristol Rugby 7 Harlequins 14 (A - Premiership) my report

07.03.09 Harlequins 21 Saracens 15 (H - Premiership) my report
15.03.09 Newcastle Falcons 24 Harlequins 16 (A - Premiership) my report
22.03.09 Harlequins 38 Sale Sharks 20 (H - Premiership) my report
01.04.09 Harlequins 60 Worcester Warriors 14 (H - Premiership) my report

04.04.09 Bath Rugby 3 Harlequins 19 (A - Premiership) my report
11-12.04.09 Harlequins 5 Leinster 6 (H - Heineken Cup) my report
17.04.09 Sale Sharks 28 vs Harlequins 6 (A - Premiership) my report
25.04.09 Harlequins 31 Newcastle Falcons 12 (H - Premiership) my report
09.05.09 GP Semi-final Harlequins 0 London Irish 17 (H - Premiership) my report

Consistency, thy name is...

I enjoy reading Donal Blaney's blog. I don't agree with his brand of Conservatism (I suppose I am what might be called these days a Montgomeroonie), but it is always good to see what other people within the fold are saying (on a broader level I like Mars Hill for the same reason). However, it is hard to see the sense in two of his most recent posts. On the one hand, Blaney would like to see Gary Glitter hanged when he returns to Britain. On the other, he chastises China with this graphic,

I think we can all be agreed that oppression of the people is a bad thing, but what about capital punishment? The top left image of the gunman about to shoot someone in the back of the head presumably refers to illegal executions. That must mean that the man about to be hanged is about to be executed legally - which is what Blaney advocates for Glitter. And yet it is what the beastly Chinese do... oh dear. It's enough to make your head spin, though hopefully not your neck break.

Counter This

In the Red Corner is Damian Thompson who thinks that Prince Charles is the Prince of Counterknowledge for being anti-GM Crops. Thompson is probably the Prince of Counterproductiveness for his obsessive attacks on the Bishops of England and Wales and Rowan Williams but that is another matter. For, in the Blue Corner, is Alice Klein who believes, simply, that Prince Charles is right. Both Thompson and Klein are Daily Telegraph bloggers. Let's hope they don't share computers.

Dr. No - Ian Fleming

Dr. No takes James Bond back to Ian Fleming's second home, Jamaica. Strangways - the Secret Service's man in Jamaica and last see in Live and Let Die - is killed by three 'blind' assassins. Who then go on to kill his secretary and hide their bodies. Why?

Back in London, Bond has what one could call a "return to work" interview with M following his recovery from being poisoned by Rosa Klebb at the end of From Russia With Love. It does not go so well. Bond's Beretta jammed during his confrontation with Red Donovan. M can't allow that to happen twice and he orders Bond to accept a replacement - the Walther PPK.

I speak under correction because I can't remember my source, but I believe Fleming chose to change Bond's gun because an army officer once told him that 007's Beretta was a 'lady's gun'. This is repeated by M's armourer. 'Bond smiled thinly' in response to this insult!

M clearly is not wholly convinced that Bond is ready for active duty, so sends him to Jamaica for a "rest cure", by way of investigating Strangways' and his secretary's disappearance. It is believed that they have eloped together, so the mission is seen as a nice and easy one.

Of course, it turns out not to be so. Bond has barely caught his breath after landing at Kingston Airport before he is given poisoned fruit and felt a poisonous millipede craw up his body. Incidentally, whatever his mission and wherever he goes, you can also guarantee that James Bond will do one of a number of things:

1. Order a vodka martini with a rind of lemon

2. Sleep naked under just one sheet

3. Smoke Chesterfield cigarettes

4. Check his room for intrusions

5. Have an ice cold shower.

I am sure 1 - 4 are all good things to do, but if you go to the gym I can recommend cold showers. I didn't used to take them, but since I started, they get rid of the excess heat splendidly!

Anyway, back to the book. As Bond's investigation into Strangway's disappearance continues, it becomes clear that the answer to the mystery will be found on Crab Key, the island of the mysterious Dr. No. To get there, Bond enlists the help of his friend Quarrel, who also appeared in Live and Let Die. On the island, two become three as the obligatory Bond girl walks into the secret agent's live - Honeychile Rider.

As Bond girls go, Honeychile stands somewhere between Tiffany Case (like whom she was raped) from Diamonds Are Forever and Solitaire (like whom she is a rather simple) from Live And Let Die. Her simplicity, however, is limited to the ways of the world. She knows rather more about the flora and fauna of her little piece of Jamaica and it is this - as well as a steeliness of character (see what punishment she exacted upon her rapist) - that helps make her an engaging person.

Like all Bond villains, Dr. No has a masterplan to cause death and destruction in the world. But unlike, for example, Moonraker, this is not a highly technological story. It is true that Dr. No is master of a secret base that he is using to disrupt America's missiles, but you see rather less of that and rather more of the masking operation - the plant to extract guano - bird dung. The guano eventually plays a key role in Dr. No's death which, while not being very dignified, is still very amusing.

Dr. No suffers a little from being a sequel to From Russia With Love. As might be expected, James Bond is physically more fragile in this book. The story, of necessity, is simpler. But taken on its own terms, it is still a very satisfactory read. The death of Quarrel leaves a bitter taste as he was an excellent character, but Honey is a capable girl and a compliment to Bond's character.

In my review of Live And Let Die, I noted the issue of race in that book - its use of the word 'negro' to describe a black person. Dr. No follows in this pattern through its description of people who are half Chinese and half black (/negro) as being 'chigroes'. This must be an archaic description for I have never heard it before.

From Russia With Love - Ian Fleming

I wasn't sure where to begin with Diamonds Are Forever. The exact opposite is the case with From Russia With Love - page 95 of my Penguin edition of the book (not the one, right; my edition has Sean Connery holding his Beretta (?) upwards in a classic Bond pose) because this is when Bond makes his first appearance in the novel. The previous 94 pages are given over to the establishment of the principal villains of the piece - man machine Donon Grant and the wonderfully creepy Rosa Klebb - and why they wish to kill Bond.

It is as follows. SMERSH needs to make up for past mistakes and decides to assassinate a major figure within the security services of the West. James Bond is the chosen target. Matters are complicated by the fact that SMERSH doesn't just want to kill Bond, but destroy his reputation, too. To that end, a clerk named Tatiana Romanova is detailed to seduce Bond, thus creating a sex scandal that will prolong, as it were, his death. This execution of this aspect of From Russia With Love makes Bond look silly to the point of embarrassing. Granted he is very much a lady's man, but Fleming allows him - and M too - to fall for Tatiana and her implausible story far too easily.

More pleasingly, From Russia With Love features Kerim Bey and his many sons. If only he had survived! The Bey clan would have made for a great spin off novel. As it is, we must be content with seeing Kerim Bey in action in his native Istanbul. And what a sight that is. Bey has the place wrapped up. He knows everyone, they know him; he knows the secret places and the secret people too - the scene with the gypsy tribe is splendidly written. They are not Bond's enemies, but are portrayed by Fleming as absolute outsiders, completely beyond the rules of society. Modesty forbids that I say anything about the fight between the two naked gypsy women, suffice to say I am glad they are not real and that, if they were, I was never on their wrong side.

From Russia With Love weakens a little when Bond leaves Istanbul on the Orient Express - another move that makes Bond look amateurish (as is his failure to realise that 'Red' Grant is not the British secret agent he is pretending to be). Perhaps it reaches its nadir with the explanation of how Bond survives being shot at point blank range by Grant. The answer is just not likely.

In case it is thought I am being very critical of the book, I should emphasise that it is on the whole a very good read. The first part of the book, which focuses completely on SMERSH are a testament to Fleming's ability to paint a scene and portraits. Of especial note is his realisation of Rosa Klebb, the creepy SMERSH lesbian spymistress. When she appears in her night dress before Tatiana, causing the latter to run screaming from Klebb's room, I did not know whether to laugh or give thanks that I was never confronted by such a hideous sight.

The ending of From Russia With Love is excellent - it is a cliffhanger. When I finished the book, I did not yet have a copy of Dr. No, so you can imagine my frustration at wanting to know what happened next! Of course, Bond survives, but how?

Having got to the end of the book, let's go back to the beginning. Or even, to before the beginning. In an Author's Note, Fleming states that SMERSH is a real organisation and that its head, General Grubozaboyschikov, is a real person. Furthermore, he asserts that he has accurately described the SMERSH meeting room where the death sentence on Bond is pronounced. Perhaps Fleming was playing a game with his readers, but if not, I cannot imagine how he knew some of these details.

Diamonds Are Forever - Ian Fleming

I'm not sure where to begin with Diamonds Are Forever. Although it was the least satisfactory of the Bond novels that I had read up to that point it was by no means a bad read. James Bond becomes a diamond smuggler in order to penetrate the mob. As he does so, he falls in love with his handler, Tiffany Case. There is an exciting escape from certain death in the desert and the ominous presence of Wint and Kidd, the famously camp assassins of the film version of the book.

For me, what took away from my enjoyment of the book was what felt a like a certain flabbiness in the story. Fleming's books are usually really tightly plotted, but this one didn't feel like that. It seemed to meander a little. Also, it sometimes felt a little directionless - as if Fleming had started writing the book without having plotted it first. I mention these criticisms hesitantly because the flabbiness could simply have been Fleming letting himself be more expressive in his writing and the supposed directionless a product of a story the outcome of which the author wanted to keep his reader in the dark about. If so, the weaknesses become strengths.

Reading Fleming's books I have become used to telling myself how superior they always are to the films. With Diamonds Are Forever, however, for all their campness, I have to say that the film uses the characters of Wint and Kidd far better than the book. Fleming's conception of these two assassins is that they are no more than shadowy organs of death. They come from the shadows and remain there. In making them camp killers (homosexuals are always the worst killers - not my words but Felix Leiter's), the film at least gives them a little more space to breath, to come alive.

One perennial pleasure of the books is the scenes set in London. The Secret Service (MI6) is based down a side street along Regent's Park, which I have walked up and down many times. In Diamonds Are Forever, Bond is driven to Holborn where he visits one of the many diamond shops along Hatton Garden, another road that I know well.

Hatton Garden is round the corner from Ely Place, the site of the lovely St. Etheldreda's church. Just to pursue the literary links for a moment, a scene from John Le Carre's The Constant Gardener was set in one of the homes over the road. Oh, and if you ever read Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman you will see in Mr Coup and Mr Vandemar the type of assassins that Fleming really should have written.

Anyway, back to Diamonds Are Forever. To its credit, it has one of the better heroines in it. Tiffany Case still ends up in Bond's arms but she is a much stronger character than the likes of Solitaire, Tatiana Romanova and Vesper Lynd. Also, there is none of the film's voodoo nonsense or silly Howard Hughes rip-off. Diamonds Are Forever will not be a favourite of mine but still a good read.

The BBC on Newman

How does news become news?

This afternoon, I was listening to the Radio 5 Live news headlines and a story about Cardinal John Newman [sic] came up. According to Radio 5, gay rights groups are complaining about the requested transferal of the cardinal's body from Rednal where it is currently buried in the same grave as that of Newman's friend and fellow Oratorian priest, Fr. Ambrose St. John.

Readers of Fr. Timothy Finigan's (His Hermeceuticality) blog will already know why this is an issue for homosexual groups - they believe that Newman and St. John were gay and that this is why the former insisted upon being buried alongside the latter. For Fr. Finigan's response to this shallow and self deceptive nonsense read here.

But what interests me is the fact that I can find no mention of the story on BBC On-Line. If the story was important enough to be mentioned in the news headlines, surely it is important enough for a slot on the website. Yet, several hours after I heard the report, having typed 'John Henry Newman' into BBC On-Line's search function, no matching web report comes up.

Perhaps one will appear later, but in the meantime, I cannot help but think cynical thoughts. Has some gay rights group issued a press release which the BBC has chucked into its headlines? If it did, that seems a very sloppy and naive way of deciding what makes the news. If it did not, on what basis has the BBC decided to highlight this story now? Fr. Finigan's refers to the Pink News's report on the matter, which is dated 21st July (his own blog post being dated the 24th July). Despite the on-going Olympics and Russia's invasion of Georgia, perhaps it has been a slow news day at the BBC. Maybe that should be a more slow thought day.

St Edith Stein - Ora Pro Nobis

Today is the feast day of the patron saint of this blog - Teresa Benedicta of the Cross, Edith Stein. To celebrate, I thought I would go to Mass at Our Lady of Mt Carmel and St Simon Stock, the Carmelite church in Kensington. Unfortunately, according to the Diocesan website, Mass there began at 12:30pm. The problem with this time was that 40 minutes later, The Dark Knight was due to begin at the Odeon cinema on Kensington High Street. Would I be able to get from the church to cinema in time? As I didn't know the exact location of the cinema - and so didn't know if it was 5 or 15 minutes away - I decided to go to Mass at Westminster Cathedral instead and enjoy a nice, slow walk from there to Kensington to visit & leave the church at my own ease.

Why was going to see The Dark Knight (again) such an issue? Well, having enjoyed it so much earlier in the week, I had meant to go and see it again yesterday afternoon - so I did. Unfortunately, the Vue Cinema in the Angel, Islington let me and all the other cinema goers there down for throughout the film it had brief but irritating problems with the sound track. For several seconds at a time, the dialogue would become muffled, like we had gone deaf, before returning to normal again.

I stuck the film out for as long as I could, but eventually I could stand it no more and walked out. It is only the second time I have ever walked out of a picture, the first being 40 minutes into About Schmidt, which deserved what it got for being boring and rubbish. But The Dark Knight was excellent and I am very disappointed with the Vue, which is normally a good cinema.

Anyway, my intention was to go to Westminster Cathedral on the Victoria Line. But when I got to the underground... I found that the Vicky Line was closed for the weekend! Oh well, it was now 9:50am. It was 15 minutes to the next underground station. Too little time to get to the cathedral. As I began my walk, I found the pavement blocked by a roadsweepers. So, I stepped onto the road to pass him. Of course, at this moment, a cyclist was passing me - literally, for her handlebar scraped my hand. "Hello!" she cried sarcastically. I'm afraid to say the first thing I thought to say as she cycled away was, "Goodbye!". Oh dear.

Eventually I got to the underground. I arrived at the Cathedral at 10:40am. So, I would have to go to the 12:30 Mass at Our Lady's anyway. That was fine. I set off for Kensington and, as I had plenty of time, set off in search of the cinema. I eventually found it about 10 minutes from the church. Along the way, I also found Our Lady of Victories church. Of Victories... actually, that was the church I had looked at on the Diocesan website. But it didn't matter, for if Mass was at 12:30, with it being practically next door to the cinema (and, I think, the Diocesan archive), even if the Mass was all 40 minutes long, there would be no problem getting to the cinema in time.

Of course, it wasn't that easy! With this being August, I found that there was no 12:30 Mass this month - only one at 10am. So, as the rain began to pour down, I headed off to Our Lady of Mr Carmel & St Simon Stock. I arrived at 12:17pm. And lo and behold, what do I find inside but that Mass has just begun. Brilliant. And they hadn't even got to the gospel reading yet.

So, I joined the Mass, saw the film and had a good walk back home. In the end, all was well. Oh yes, there was one other thing. I walked into the Odeon cinema, looked around and couldn't see the ticket office anywhere. What was that about? Well, I was told, it is outside. I had walked right past it. D'oh! What an eventful day.

The Anniversary of the Battle of Pharsalus

Hail Caesar!

The big news today is that it is the 2056th anniversary of Julius Caesar's defeat of Pompey's Senatorial Army at Pharsalus in Greece. Following his triumph in this battle, Caesar became ruler of Rome. Pompey fled to Ptolemaic Egypt where he was assassinated on the orders of the king.

As for Caesar, with Pharsalus, he had set in motion a chain of events that would lead to the creation of the Roman Emperor (the empire already existing through Rome's imperial posessions) and the domination of the West over world affairs.

New Translation of the Mass

I have been reading the revised text of the Mass at the website of the American bishops. It reads well, although I cannot say that I like the following: In the confiteor I confess my sins, which come 'through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous thought.'

I know this is a direct translation of the Latin, but I wonder why we are asked to repeat the exact same clause twice. If it is to make clear how badly we have sinned, I think the second clause ought be a development of the first - just as the third is ('through my most grievous fault'): 'though my fault, through my very bad fault, though my most grievous fault'. Alright, that sounds bad, but you get the point. Something similar happens with the Gloria ('You take away the sins of the world, have mercy on us; you take away the sins of the world, receive our prayer...') so it seems a shame to miss out on the opportunity here.

Following the first / second reading, the reader says no more than 'The word of God'. Unless the reader holds up the lectionary, this sounds very awkward. Why not 'This is the Word of God'?

The Creed uses the word 'consubstantial'. I have no objection to it, but I suspect it will need a little explaining to most people!

The Dark Knight Returns

So, after the Skeleton show, we repaired to the cinema to see The Dark Knight the second installment of the new Batman film series. I watched Batman Begins on DVD for the first time a couple of weeks ago and enjoyed it immensely. Although very dark in mood, it told the story of how Bruce Wayne became Batman very well. The story in The Dark Knight breaks down a little. The film is long and the plot somewhat convoluted. Things happen and you have no choice but to go along with it because there was not enough time to think how did that happen again? Despite that, thanks to some stirling performances by the actors, you still care about the characters, though, and are eager to see how things develop.

A lot of the publicity for Dark Knight has focused on the late Heath Ledger as the Joker. It is certainly true that he plays his role extremely well. However, he does not deserve a posthumous Oscar for it. If it is given to him, it can only be out of a sense of sorrow at his untimely death. The reason why Ledger should not win the award is the same as why Javier Bardem should not have won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor for his role of Anton Shigurh. Shigurh is a one dimensional character. All we see him do is chase people, threaten them and, usually, kill them. We are given nothing about him as a person. For example, his motivation. The Joker is the same. Of course, whereas Shigurh looks semi comatose, the Joker shouts and yelps and laughs a lot. But we are still given no insight into how he has come to be such a psychopathic madman.

Heath Ledger does not dominate the Dark Knight. Christian Bale is once more excellent, if perhaps a little more subdued, as Bruce Wayne; Michael Caine as Alfred, Wayne's butler, and Morgan Freeman as boffin Lucius Fox similarly so - perhaps because they are given less screen time. Aaron Eckhart's performance as the doomed D.A., Harvey Dent, is especially good. The make-up that he wears when he becomes Harvey Two-Face is awful, but I mean that in a good way. I must also mention Gary Oldman as Jim Gordon. Harvey Dent is regarded as being the White Knight but really it is Gordon. No side, down to earth, a good guy.

The Dark Knight is not just a film about a super hero. Indeed, whether Batman is indeed a hero at all is a question that it freely asks. It is not afraid to ask other questions, either, awkward ones too, on truth, freedom and privacy, and justice. Some of these questions (I am thinking here particularly of the freedom and privacy question) are very similar to those asked by The Bourne Ultimatum. If you have seen this film and have yet to see The Dark Knight, bear it in mind when you see how Batman uses mobile phone technology later in the picture. Oh, and speaking of similarities to other films, the music borrows from There Will Be Blood to marvellously creepy effect.

As I mentioned above, The Dark Knight is quite convoluted. As a result, it was quite hard to keep up with its more philosophical aspects. I will certainly consider going to see it again though so that I can get to grips with them more fully.

I have been looking at other reviews for The Dark Knight. BBC On-Line agrees with me about the one sidedness of Heath Ledger's character and finds depth in Christian Bale's performance as Batman. Blogger Kerron Cross believes it would be a 'travesty' if Ledger did not win an Oscar. I disagree with him about that, but certainly agree with his questioning of the 12A certificate. The Dark Knight is very bloody and psychologically messy too. I would have given it a 15 rating. The British Board of Film Classification (BBFC) has received 80 complaints about the 12A rating, but has responded to the criticism. You can read it at BBC On-Line here. Fr. Longenecker thought the story too talky (disagree) and the plot too diffuse (agree). Finally, I can only wonder if Stainless Steel Droppings reviewed the film as the computer will not let me access his blog! If I can do so later, I will update this review.

Anyhow, the long and the short of it is that I enjoyed The Dark Knight very much. Superman he isn't, but his heroism for me is not in doubt and insofar as that is the case, the film was very inspiring. The Dark Knight is very long - too long - but is a great achievement on the part of director Christopher Nolan. I hope very much that he will make a third film to round of the series.

Dem Bones

Yesterday, 5MinJim and I visited the offices of the Wellcome Trust pharmaceutical company to see an exhibition of skeletons. These have been dug up from various sites around London and range in age from a couple of hundred to almost 2,000 years old.

Unless you are a heavy metal fan, a skeleton is a skeleton is a skeleton, but if you look more closely at them, you can tell how the person lived and even how they died. Thus, we had one former gentleman who had a swollen big toe joint that was indicative of gout (a popular disease in the eighteenth century) and one poor girl who died in her late teens or mid twenties who suffered from syphilis. She had, no doubt, been a prostitute.

Despite the fact that we all have skeletons and will all end up in the ground one way or the other, eventually, one cannot help but view other people's skeletons with a sense of detachment. It is probably a safety measure to stop ourselves from becoming irredeemably sad at our fate. However, that detachment did break down a little when we saw a the skeleton of a woman who had died while pregnant. The minuscule bones with hers were those of her unborn child. There was also the bones of a baby - the skull was in various parts as I found that when you are born, it takes a couple of years for the skull to fuse. This is to allow the head to grow.

Three or four years ago I saw the Bodyworlds exhibition. It had scientific pretensions, but that is all they were. It was a modern day freak show, that's all. The Wellcome exhibition was very sober and offered genuine insights into people's lives and ends. Well done to them for putting it on.

The BBC and its words

A few weeks ago the BBC website used the word 'collaborative' to refer to something or another. The context was not interesting enough to remember, but I was very interested by the word as the first thing I thought of when I saw it was the example of those people who helped the Nazis in World War II. This diverted me from thnking what the BBC was trying to say - bad.

This morning, the BBC website has a headline which runs Davies to grace literary festival. The story is no more interesting to me than the collaborative one but for the record it concerns Russell T. Davies, the 'creator' of the new Dr. Who series who is going to be appearing at the Cheltenham Literature Festival. Not to be unkind to Dr. Who fans, but I would not call that programme a literary one. Whether it is or isn't, however, is beside the point. What interested me is the use of the word grace.

To grace an event is to grant in the honour of your appearance. You must, therefore, be a singularly important person - Royalty or nobility, perhaps. At the event you would expect to be the centre of attention. Davies is neither royalty or going to be the centre of attention at the festival, except at his own talk, which hardly counts. Of course, he has made himself very important in the television world by the highly successful reinvention of Dr. Who, but to speak of him gracing Cheltenham seems to me an inappropriate use of the word, perhaps used by an over excited Dr. Who fan working at the BBC website.

But maybe grace has a connection to one of Davies' programmes? Unfortunately, I can find no proof of this on his IMDB entry. Perhaps those of you who are better acquainted with his oeuvre will be able to help out on this.

Hello Blog Pickers, Alright?!

I discovered recently that Blogger now offers you the chance to see which of the blogs on your blog roll have been most recently updated. Thinking this would be a nice addition for the list of British Catholic Bloggers, I have spent the last few minutes (for which, read: hour) adding every blog on the list to this function.

One result of having done so is that not only have I found out which blogs haven't been updated in a month of Sundays, but which blogs have been deleted by their authors. These have been removed from the list. Unfortunately, a couple of blogs could not be joined to the new function because they appeared not to have the requisite 'feed' gizmo thingy to allow Blogger to find out when they had been updated. Perhaps that is a glitch that Blogger will amend in due course. I will keep my eyes peeled.

Anyhow, there are about 119 blogs on the list now, so if you would like to see who has been the most recently active British Catholic blogger, why not visit the list by scrolling down past the Saints on the right hand side of the page.

As of 6:40pm on Monday 3rd August 2008, the Top Five are,

1. Valle Adurni
2. UK's Place
3. Catholic Church Conservation
4. Catholic Action UK
5. Mulier Fortis

Lambeth's End

The Lambeth Conference has ended with (deep breath) Archbishop Rowan Williams actually laying down the law. According to the Guardian, he has

... blamed liberal North American churches yesterday for causing turmoil in the Anglican communion by blessing same-sex unions and consecrating gay clergy as he attempted to chart a way out of the crisis that has been engulfing the church."If North American churches do not accept the need for a moratoria [on same sex blessings and the consecration of gay clergy] we are no further forward. We continue to be in grave peril," he said.

One rather feels that this is a case of to little, too late, but at least he said it. A few weeks ago I mentioned the pathetic over-reaction to the celebration of the Gregorian Mass at Westminster Cathedral in the Letters page of the Tablet - one reader finding Cardinal Hoyos's cappa magna 'chilling' and another the 'different kind of worship disturbing'. Well, that same spirit of over-reaction is strong in the American Anglican church,

Jon Bruno, bishop of Los Angles, was clear that calls to stop blessing same-sex relationships would be received with "fear and trepidation" in his diocese. "I can only say that inclusion is a reality," he said. "For people who think that this is going to lead us to disenfranchise any gay or lesbian person, they are sadly mistaken."

Susan Russell, president of the US campaign group Integrity, was angry with Williams' remarks, which she called an "11th-hour sucker punch".

She said: "It sends the wrong message - that gays and lesbians are still strangers at the gate. It's not going to change anything on the ground."

The way Jon Bruno and Susan Russell speak it is as if Rowan Williams had actually said that homosexuals were not welcome in the Anglican Communion. Of course, he said no such thing but how liberals bleat when things do not go their way. Unfortunately, they will not only bleat but ignore their leader and carry on going their own way. This, I think, is why the Anglican Communion is doomed.

The Price of A Good Name

If stories like this did not exist, one would have to invent them. On what is clearly a Slow News Day, the Daily Telegraph reports,

The Association of the Sovereign Order of the Temple of Christ, whose members claim to be descended from the legendary [Knights Templar] crusaders, have filed a lawsuit against Benedict XVI calling for him to recognise the seizure of assets worth 100 billion euros (£79 billion).

Read the full report here. The Association of The Long And Forgettable Name has about as much connection to the Knights Templars as I have to the Association of Peasoup Fanatics From The Planet Zod (est. stardate 15344), still, if we are to enter a period of using money to right historical wrongs (although to be fair to it, the ASSOTC says it doesn't want money. Hm), I'm sure the Spanish state could owe the Catholic Church a few quid. As the British Government most certainly does.

Ways of Getting Humble

No. 1: Go to Mass, like I did this evening. Confess your sins and receive the Eucharist. This is good. Not only do you get humble but you get renewed, too.

No. 2: Leave Mass swiftly in the rain, like I did this evening. Slip over a wet piece of cardboard. Fall on your bum. A pratfall - just like a slapstick film. This is not good. Neither is acting like you meant to do it - you still come away with a sore wrist and a dent in your dignity!

Priestly Bloggers in the Catholic Herald

Hot on the heels of Mulier Fortis, the Catholic Herald carries an article this week on the rumoured discussion by the Bishops of England and Wales on the 'reining in' of priest bloggers. I say hot on the heels, but really this article coolly follows the Mulier Fortis post. She reported this rumour on 10th July.

The article is titled Priestly Bloggers: Do they need to be reigned in? It is slightly misleading, for while the article states as fact that the Bishops did discuss priest bloggers at their Low Week meeting, it goes on to say that,

According to the rumour... the bishops... talked about how priest bloggers could be "reined in". So here's the story: "Tyrannical bishops move to crack down on dissident bloggers." But that is not, actually, the story. The fact that blogs were mentioned at all at the Low Week meeting merely signals their growing influence in the Church. And the bishops' concern over priestly blogging is pretty reasonable."

So, if that is not the story, then why is that the title? In the secular press, such a thing is called sensationalism. The article goes on to make another statement of dubious provenance,

The rise of the "blogosphere" has given the ordinary parish priest an unprecedented degree of power.

Really? I must tell my parish priest this. It'll make his life so much easier. But he had better not read the blogs of other priests because I have seen no evidence at all of their blogs causing a growth in their power. Priestly Bloggers justifies this statement on the grounds that, "[b]logs, unlike parish newsletters are read at the Vatican." You can guess which blog it cites as proof of this - What Does The Prayer Really Say?, which is written by Fr. John Zuhlsdorf. But surely Fr. Zuhlsdorf is the exception to the rule? According to EWTN, he worked for the Ecclesia Dei Commission and - if memory serves - has stated in the past that members of the Vatican read his blog. What other priest has his background and connections? If they are out there, I don't know them. In this instance, I would suggest that the writer of Priestly Bloggers has overstated his case.

It does not get much better. I'm sure it isn't meant as a slur, but the writer states that,

Just about every single blogging priest is a traditionalist - and therefore critical of the bishops'' lacklustre response to the Motu Proprio... so a diocese made up entirely of blogging "Fr Zs" would be impossible for a bishop to govern.

This is a most contentious statement to make. Fr. Z is not afraid to be critical but although I have read things that I disagree with on his blog, I can't say that I have ever read anything that was disobedient. The same goes for all the other priestly blogs. They are not such traditional in their liturgy but orthodox and loyal in their theology and practice as well.

The above statement really should be withdrawn. All the more so because the writer immediately afterwards recognises that the priest bloggers in Britain are very aware 'of the need to stay respectful towards their bishop'.

Priestly Bloggers gets better from hereon in. Fr. John Boyle 'emphasises the importance of caution' in blogging and Britain's own Fr. Z - Fr. F if you will - Fr Finigan states that 'priests can exercise "a great apostolate" saying that he has had people call him asking to come back to the Church. Fr. Finigan is stated as thinking that 'priest bloggers follow their own code of practice'. But he would also appreciate something from the Pontifical Council for Social Communications. I don't think that would be really necessary unless the priest's conduct broke down, and then, it would surely be his bishop's duty to deal with him.

The article ends positively, though. The Bishops show no sign of 'stamping on bloggers' freedoms. That is good to know, although why was there a need to say it, since it was not the story? There is a final confirmation that,

... priests who blog do not spend time moaning about their bishop, their work or their parishioners; instead they provide a powerful apostolate that should be valued by the Church.

The Jive Talker Book Launch

So, having read The Jive Talker, L. and I attended the book launch at an art gallery in Rivington Place, Shorditch, on Thursday evening. Our road to the launch was not easy. Despite following the directions correctly, we still managed to walk completely the wrong way down Old Street. Nevertheless, we soon arrived at our destination and were much pleased by the glasses of wine on offer.

But this is not a post about wine but the man below. In this photograph, which I have stolen from the Facebook Holyballism group because I never had a nice photo of him myself, we see Samson Kambalu in the company of a literary chick or maybe 'just' a friend. If it is the later, I still like the thought - write the book, get the girl!

Holyballism. Here is an actual holyball. Exercise and exorcise. Well, I enjoyed kicking it about a bit. I shall have more to say about holyballs over the next few days so watch this blog.

Here is Kambalu giving his author's speech. When he started thanking people, it looked like we could be in for a long Oscar-type thanking session, but it turned out to be more hobbit-like in its brevity, whereupon, we were able to get back to the wine!

And here is me and Susan Kambalu. This photograph is especially for Ezair. Hevs and Susan met each other at university and, as I found out on Thursday, got married on the same day - though not in the same church!

And here is a picture of L. Mysterious of name, mysterious of face. Note the fact that both he and me are wearing black shirts. We spoke to one pleasant young lady who asked us what we did for a living. Upon being invited to guess, she suggested Hitmen! L. mused that we could be Wint and Kidd. This did not meet with my approval.

I should have mentioned in yesterday, so before I forget again, Samson Kambalu has a website which is dedictated to his work, particularly holyballism. Visit it here. There is quite a bit to see, including what can only be described as a foolhardy video where the artist laughs at people getting on a bus! Also worth seeing are the various holyball blogs.

The Jive Talker - Samson Kambalu

Over the last week, I read a book called The Jive Talker by Samson Kambalu. Kambalu is a conceptual artist who was born and brought up in the east African state of Malawi and the book is his autobiographical account of those early days. Actually, The Jive Talker takes us up to Kambalu's marriage in 2001, but I shall come back to that - or rather, his wife - in a moment.

The Jive Talker of the title is Kambalu's father. He was a senior doctor within the Malawian health service who had a penchant for knowledge - owning a book case called the Diptych which none of his children were allowed to touch; for believing he would become a multimillionaire and for speaking nonsense - jive.

There is a lot of jive in Kambalu's book and not all of it comes from his father. Disease is a form of jive and my goodness is that prevalent. Samson Kambalu is a small man, of slight build, but he must have had the constitution of an ox to survive childhood. Diarrhoea, Malaria and a bizarrely named illness called jiggers all make an unpleasant appearance. As does, most tragically, AIDS. There is a leper in the garden, a mentally ill woman dancing among the trees and all many of sick people waiting to be cured with Kambalu' s own sunshine pills.

Jive also comes in the form of people. Fraudsters and prostitutes in South Africa, Eton in Africa, schoolboys with names like Zinjanthropus, Nimbostratus and Keep Off The Grass. The third of this triptych gained his name from pushing boys onto the grass but goodness knows what the other two mean. Another boy was called The Twelve Caesars - him I would have loved to have met! Schoolboys aside, there is also witch doctors and altogether unfortunate obsessions with elements of Western popular culture.

Jive in The Jive Talker, as it seems to me, anyway, carries a negative connotation, however, the greatest example of jive - beyond the talker - is surely Kambalu's own philosophy: holyballism. Here is its description from his Facebook group:

Holyballism is an expressionist philosophy of life centred around the Holy Ball, a football plastered with the pages of the Bible. Holyballism is History turning a full circle: The founder of monotheism, the first known individual in history, the Egyptian Pharaoh Akhenaten, ‘worshipped’ the sun as the one true God -he learnt from the sun the meaning of life. Holyballism is a return to that attitude through self-expression and the making and the destruction of the Holy Ball through exercises and exorcisms is actually an affirmative enactment of this historical atavism.

Holyballism has four pivotal icons: Akhenaten who conceived God as the sun, Moses who eclipsed the sun with the Word, Christ who perceived the Word as man, and Nietzsche who brought back God -the sun as the meaning of the Word.

We are here to shine, man! That’s what history teaches us.

How To Make A Holy Ball

1. Take a football, loosened
Holy Book Pages and PVA glue.
2. Plaster the pages onto the ball one by one
until completely covered.
3. Allow the Holy Ball to dry before any exercises
and exorcisms.

Selected Bibliography

The Bible
The Complete works of Friedrich Nietzsche
Moses and Monotheism by Sigmund Freud
Solar Ethics by Don Cuppit
Nietzsche and Philosophy by Gilles Deleuze

As I said at the beginning, Samson Kambalu is a conceptual artist. If he really believes in holyballism as a kind of religion / philosophy then I should be amazed, but as an in-joke with a gilt edge (because as an ideal it contains some sound ideas) it is splendid fun. I shall come back to holyballism in a future post, as for The Jive Talker, holyballism is as close to a conclusion as the autobiography gets. However, given its circularity, this only means that either when you find the first reference to it, you finish the book, or go back to the beginning or even jump to the end. The Jive Talker is an episodic book - ideal for jumping in and out of. I hope to do that in the future, although I will admit that I will never be quick to visit the end. The gaity of the book ends there during the days of the decline of Kambalu's father.

As the above indicates, I enjoyed The Jive Talker. Not just a little, but very much. It is a work of extraordinary conviction and silliness. It is set in an Africa that is oh so familiar but individual. There are many, many poor people, but in Kambalu's narrative they have their own voices not mere Oxfam posters.

The strongest recommendation of The Jive Talker that I can give is that I read it straight after an absolutely brilliant book on the Successors of Alexander the Great and during my run of James Bond novels. The Jive Talker was not only not disgraced by its presence among these great books but held its position worthily. This I say with great pleasure because through Ezair I am acquainted with Samson Kambalu's wife, Susan and as she occasionally reads this blog, she might well read this review.

Surviving, Achieving and Owning

Well, it has been a good week for Cally's Kitchen. Last weekend, she survived a blogcull by Mulier Fortis. Bloggers are, generally speaking, a fearless lot but if they dread anything, it must be trolls and being cut off other people's blogrolls. If you don't exist on a blogroll then your blog might as well not exist at all. Dreadful. Anyway, Cally's Kitchen remains on the good lady's list and is fifth place. That's like being the Liverpool of blogs. Although, I think Liverpool do tend to finish at least a place higher and Mulier Fortis does sort her links in alphabetical order. Still, it is nice to be there.

The other good thing to have happened is to have been included in Paul Burgin's list of Political Blogs for 2008 - 09. Now, although I do occasionally talk about politics, it is never as much as I ought and in any case, I have never thought of myself as a political blogger. As Paul says, Rugby Union and Catholicism predominates. Well, given that Mars Hill top ten is for 2008 - 09 that gives me time to remedy things.

In other business, I learnt a new word this week - to own. In modern speak this does not mean to posess but to inflict severe defeat or humiliation upon someone. Thus, the Rebel Alliance owned the Galactic Empire. Or, conversely, Palpatine owned Anakin Skywalker. I came across the word underneath this YouTube clip of Achilles 'owning' Boagrius.
'Total ownage' indeed as one commenter put it.