Cardinal O'Brien On Abortion

"I solemnly charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by His appearing and His kingdom: preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with great patience and instruction. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires; and will turn away their ears from the truth, and will turn aside to myths. But you, be sober in all things, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry. " 2 Timothy 4:1-5

Cardinal O'Brien says it like it is. Well done to him.

"We are killing - in our country - the equivalent of a classroom of kids every single day. "Can you imagine that? Two Dunblane massacres a day in our country going on and on. And when's it going to stop? "I can't change the teachings of Jesus Christ. I can't change the 10 Commandments. That's what I'm ordained to teach and to preach: 'Thou shalt not kill."'

Full Report At BBC On Line

Pray for the Cardinal, for those who have abortions and for those involved in the trade.

Zodiac

Last night, L., Our Man (formerly) in the Army and I had a cinema trip - to see Zodiac. This was the self given codename of a serial killer who terrorised San Fransisco in the late sixties and early seventies. It was an unusual kind of film.

Firstly, unlike most pictures, it is spread over a number of years. No 'telescoping' of the story (which is based on the memoirs of Robert Graysmith who was involved in the investigation - see below) into a period of a few weeks or months, here. It felt odd seeing the date updates appear at the bottom of the screen every few minutes. In a way, this was unfortunate because it ended up contributing to a feeling that the film was dragging along towards the end (Zodiac is 158 mins long).

Secondly, there is no one star who carried the picture. The principle roles belonged to Mark Ruffalo (Detective Toschi), Jake Gyllenhaal (Robert Graysmith) and Robert Downey Jr (Paul Avery). At different points in the film, all three of them took centre stage. Actually, this was more the case in respect of Ruffalo and Graysmith, with Downey Jr more often than not providing stout support to the latter. Of the three, I am familiar with Robert Downey Jr from Chaplin (Brill film) and Jake Gyllenhaal from Donnie Darko (very odd, but good) and so it was good to see them put in very good performances. I must confess that I had never heard of Mark Ruffalo, though; he was excellent. And it was great to see a detective who (a) wasn't bent (b) wasn't a maverick (c) didn't swear his way through the film (e) was a down to earth, decent guy without being boring.

Thirdly, Zodiac shows just three of the killer's murders taking place. Two of these are towards the beginning of the film and the third a little further on. From then on, the film is all about the police response and, in the end, how Graysmith - who was a cartoonist for the San Fransisco Chronicle when the Zodiac killer was at large and who became obsessed with solving the case - pursued it even when everyone else had admitted defeat. This approach could have seen Zodiac become bogged down in procedure and endless arguments, but to its credit it remained fresh almost to the end. As I said above, it did drag a bit later on, but never so much that I really got impatient.

Anyway, we all enjoyed Zodiac very much and unless you are of a more sensitive disposition, I recommend the film to you. There is only a happy-ish end, but the story is told well, sometimes violently but with honestly and sensitivity.

The Venerable Bede

Last Friday was the feast day of the Venerable Bede (673-735). They say that we should travel in order to broaden our minds, but Bede hardly ever left his Benedictine monastery in Jarrow yet still became one of the most learned men of all time. In fact, he could be one of the last men to have read every published book in existence. This is, of course, a slight anachronism. They were no books in his day, only manuscripts painstakingly copied by monks in monasteries across Europe.
Bede himself was a writer, and the work for which he is famous is his Ecclesiastical History of the English People. It is a monumental work, covering seven hundred years of history from the end of the Roman Republic to Bede's own day.
I first read the Ecclesiastical History at university and my favourite memory of the book is of Bede's account of the allegory told to the pagan king to explain the transitory nature of life:

Another of the king's chief men, approving of his words and exhortations, presently added, "The present life of man, O King, seems to be, in comparison with that time which is unknown to us, like the swift flight of a sparrow through the room wherein You sit at supper in winter, with your commanders and ministers, and a good fire in the midst, whilst the storms of rain and snow prevail abroad; the sparrow, I say, flying in at one door, and immediately out at another, whilst he is within, is safe from the wintry storm; but after a short space of fair weather, he immediately vanishes out of your sight, into the dark winter from which he had emerged. So this life of man appears for a short space, but of what went before, or what is to follow, we are entirely ignorant. If, therefore, this new doctrine contains something more certain, it seems justly to deserve to be followed." (EWTN)

If memory serves, it is also from Bede that we have the story of the shy monk Caedmon who was given the gift of poetry and song by God,

The man was established in worldly life until the time when he was of advanced age, and he had never learned any songs. And consequently, often at a drinking gathering, when there was deemed to be occasion of joy, that they all must in turn sing with a harp, when he saw the harp nearing him, he then arose for shame from that feast and went home to his house. Then he did this on a certain occasion, that he left the banquet-hall and he was going out to the animal stables, which herd had been assigned to him that night. When he there at a suitable time set his limbs at rest and fell asleep, then some man stood by him in his dream and hailed and greeted him and addressed him by his name: 'Caedmon, sing me something.' Then he answered and said: 'I do not know how to sing and for that reason I went out from this feast and went hither, because I did not know how to sing at all.' Again he said, he who was speaking with him: 'Nevertheless, you must sing.' Then he said: 'What must I sing?' Said he: 'Sing to me of the first Creation.' When he received this answer, then he began immediately to sing in praise of God the Creator verses and words which he had never heard... (Caedmon's song)

Song was absolutely central to the life of Anglo-Saxon men. It was not only a form of entertainment, but a means of recounting the tribe's history - as Beowulf shows - and as Bede shows, then, as now, it was a means of praising God.

Periodically some one or other suggests that St George should be replaced as England's patron saint. If he was, Bede would be the perfect choice. In the first place he was a man of peace. Secondly, in his learning he was a man of education. Recent political disputes show that that is as important an issue now as it ever was. Thirdly, Bede the historian shows us how important a knowledge of our national history is. Fourthly, and perhaps I should have mentioned this first, Bede was a good and holy man who held fast to faith in God during dark and troubled times in what would become northern England. In this day when the storm clouds of terrorism are never far away, we can only learn and find many graces in imitating Bede's life.

Bede on Bede

Bad News From the Home Office

From BBC On Line:

Proposed new anti-terror laws could give police greater powers to stop and question anyone in the UK.

The proposal, allowing police to ask people about their identity and movement, is among measures being considered by Home Secretary John Reid... A Home Office spokeswoman said that the new proposals would give officers an automatic right to stop and question anyone in the UK about suspected terrorism.

Back in January I compared the Government's reliance on ever greater security measures to combat the threat of terrorism as being akin to the slide of George Lucas' Galactic Republic into tyranny in the Star Wars prequels. I would not compare Tony Blair with Palpatine, but it does seem to me that we have taken one more small step towards a kind of police state. And for what? Freedom for Iraq. But I fancy that even if that situation was resolved tomorrow, the danger would remain because the conflict between Israel and its Arab neighbours remains unresolved. So, what is the Government doing to help resolve that dispute?

The Inquisitive Cow on Motion Parallax,Tradecraft Skills and Green Ops

dúnadan: Hello and welcome to the edge of a wood somewhere in central Dorset! It is raining today, and raining hard, so the inquisitive cow and I have taken refuge under a chestnut tree. Good morning, Gerrie!
inq. cow: Hello, dúnadan. I have not seen it rain this heavily for many months. Still, it the flowers and trees will be happy - and if they are happy, so am I, because that means the grass will be more lush!
dúnadan: Yes, we shall come back to the subject of flowers, shortly but before we begin, I would like to bring to your attention, something I noticed as we walked through the Wood just now. I was looking up and it seemed to me that the lower branches of the trees moved more quickly past me than those higher up. Do you know why that was?
inq. cow: Well, of course, the branches were not moving at all. What was changing, as you walked, was the angle at which you were viewing the branches. This is known as motion parallax. You will not be surprised to know that I noticed this effect right from when I took my first walk in the wood. Daddy Cow told me what was going on in between his dancing lessons.
dúnadan: I see. So my walking was really creating a kind of optical illusion.
inq. cow: Of a sort, yes. You know, dúnadan, a parallax view can be experienced in several different ways - in respect of the moon, the sun and the stars. But it can also be experienced in literature as a metaphor. A literary parallax is a story that is told from one than one perspective. The term is most often applied to modern literature, but I think that the four gospels could be described as parallax narratives.
dúnadan: Gosh! That sounds very clever. But we must move on. Back in February - oh, listen, that was a loud clap of thunder! - we talked about M15 and you and Bertie carried out a dead letter drop. I understand you have been learning more about secret services.

inq. cow: Yes. Jenny Wren - who, as you know, knows all kinds of important and mysterious people - has just flown back from Langley, Virginia, which is in America, and is where the C.I.A. is based. She is good friends with its leader, General Hayden.
dúnadan: I still remember the visit of his agent, last October!
inq. cow: Well, he has been giving her tuition in how to be a secret agent. And Jenny Wren has been teaching me their tradecraft skills. I now know that honeypots are not necessarily presents for bears. Eavesdropping does not imply that a house is falling to pieces and that a cut-out is more than what you do with a picture or article in a magazine that you like.
dúnadan: So, explain that they are!
inq. cow: Gladly! A honeypot is a trap that is laid to cheat an enemy agent by seducing them. Eavesdropping is listening to the enemy's conversations, whether in person or by electronic means. While a cut out is the mechanism that is employed to pass information from one agent to another while both are behind enemy lines.
dúnadan: When you say 'cheat' an enemy, Gerrie...
inq. cow: I mean, obtain secret information from them. Or even kill them.
dúnadan: Oh my goodness. That's awful.
inq. cow: You don't know the half of it, dúnadan. There is also black operations, or blacks ops. This is the assassination of one's enemies in a way that one's own government can afterwards deny all responsibility. Very sinister. But it hasn't stopped me from developing my own secret operation - Green ops.

Green Ops bring new life to gardens - even in ways one could not imagine

dúnadan: How does that work?
inq. cow: Well, as we know, there is great pressure on the government to build lots and lots of new houses. So much so that I think it won't stop until the whole country is one big city. This is not good for the environment. So, a green op will be to help the environment - be planting flowers.
dúnadan: I see...
inq. cow: Mooh! Secret agents will drop seeds where ever they can, but mainly in places where there are no flowers. For example, in between paving stones in patio gardens or on village greens.
dúnadan: That is awfully decent of you. I hope Jenny Wren will suggest this idea to General Hayden.
inq. cow: I am sure he would be most interested. After all, how can the C.I.A. carry out its other duties if there is no world to spy on?
dúnadan: Indeed. Well, Gerrie, that's all we have time for today. Thank you for your time. Do you think it will ever stop raining?
inq. cow: On the balance of probabilities? Yes.
dúnadan: Good, because I think I am wearing my holey wellington boots again. Oh dear.

index of interviews with the inquisitive cow
Gerrie has a Facebook pro file! Search under 'Gerrie Cow' and become her friend. C.I.A. employees are especially welcome.

The Central Intelligence Agency
Dorset Garden photo by John Allen

A Curious Arrival

Spotted along a river walk this morning. Do you know what kind of bird it is?

Do Not Adjust Your Set

If things look a little different in the Kitchen today, that's because they are! Following on from where people like Fr Dwight Longenecker have led, I updated the blog template last night. As well as amending it so that all the links could be displayed once again, I have also taken the liberty of changing the font. If you like it, or indeed don't, or even have any other ideas for improvements, please feel very free to let me know!

On Politics

So, you decide to make more of an effort to write about politics on your blog. Thanks to 18 Doughty Street and political blogs like Iain Dale's Diary and Mars Hill, a previously dormant interest in the whole business has been re-awakened. But where do you start? Politics is a big, sprawling business that touches upon just about every area of life. In fact, if my old politics teacher at school was to be believed, politics touches every part. He stood up and said 'name me a subject - any subject - and I will show how politics affects it'. We did and he did.

One way to begin is to do what I am doing here and admit that in this matter, I am something of an innocent abroad. I have voted (though I do admit I didn't vote in the last mayoral election because the quick pint in the pub after work turned out to be an evening session) and I do read listen and read about political matters but my knowledge is not deep.

The next thing to do is say a little of where I am coming from in terms of my politics. I am not a member of any party and I am not a political dogmatist. I would be quite happy to vote for Conservative, Labour or Liberal on any given occasion. However, insofar as I have a settled opinion, I do prefer One Nation Conservatism as it seeks to represent the whole country rather than the working classes (socialism) or rich folk (Thatcherism). And its policies are its own - not stolen for the purpose of gaining power (New Labour).

Right, that is enough politics for now. I look forward to writing more and I hope you enjoy reading more.

Birthday Boy

Congratulations go this evening to Fr Nicholas who was ordained to the priesthood four years ago today. That's four years of acting in persona christi at the altar and in the confessional. Cool. We enjoyed a very pleasant drink and meal at the Bastille French pub / restaurant off St. Paul's Road in Islington. At the end of the night, the couple sitting behind us were not happy with either their meal or the length of time that it took to collect the bill but I have to say that I thought the food good and service just fine.

Fr. Nicholas - ad multos annos!

Conservative Blogger Awards

Labour supporting readers of this blog had better look away now! This evening, I continued my political education by travelling into town to attend the 2007 Conservative blogger awards as sponsored by Conservative Home at the Old Star pub in Westminster. As you can tell by the location, it was an informal event, taking place in the tight confines of the second floor of the pub. During the course of the evening, I met some very friendly people. As for the awards, here is how they turned out:

Best Parliamentary Blog: Nadine Dorries MP
Best Young Conservative Blog: Birmingham CF
Best Anonymous Blog: Archbishop Cranmer
Best Local Government Blog: Maida Vale Conservatives
Best Newcomer Blog: Praguetory
Best Conservative Blog: Iain Dale

To read the list of runners and riders, click here.

Amongst the attendees, I met Tim Montgomerie who is the editor of Conservative Home. Also, William Luckman (The Croydonian) and a man I know only as Malcolm who is a contributor to Conservative Home. But I think that that is enough of a name to have! I must also mention Shane Greer, an 18 Doughty Street presenter and Sam Coates, deputy editor of Conservative Home. He saved me some money by pointing out that there was free wine going just as I was about to buy a pint! There were one or two other people that I met whose names momentarily escape me so if by some chance they read this, I do apologise.

Further to the above, I must highlight the fact that everyone I met was unfailingly polite and pleasant. This was especially important to me as seeing all these bloggers who are at the top of their trade was like entering another ever so slightly more glamorous world.

Some pictures:

Tim Montgomerie gets the show on the road

Nadine Dorries MP announces another lucky winner

Iain Dale gratefully accepts his bottle of bubbly

The Long Way Down

A couple of summers ago I had a great time reading The Long Way Round - actors Ewan McGregor and Charlie Boorman's account of their motorcycle journey round the world. You would not have thought that a book about a couple of rich blokes living out their fantasy could be so interesting, but it was. There was no divaring about, just a down-to-earth account of a couple of guys giving their dream their all. It really was fantastic.
Last year, Charlie Boorman took part in the race to Dakar. While I have seen both DVD and read The Long Way Round book, I have only done the latter in respect of the Race. Given the dangers involved with that trip, however, I hardly dare watch what happened. One man was killed on the race and Boorman had to retire after crashing and breaking both his hands.

Fast forward to this morning, and I visited the BBC website and found that it was promoting McGregor and Boorman's new adventure, the rather cheesily titled, Long Way Down. It sounds like what was originally a one off trip of a lifetime has now turned into a franchise, but that isn't going to stop me from checking out the website to see their progress. It is already two weeks old and as of this morning they were in northern Italy, but the whole of Africa awaits.

click on the pics to visit Amazon.co.uk!
Long Way Down website

Rugby and the classics in Hampstead

To Hampstead this afternoon to see Wasps play Leicester Tigers in the Heineken Cup final. This is rugby's equivalent of the football European Cup final. Or, the Champions League final, as it is ungrammatically and rather laughingly called these days (you don't have to be a champion to enter it). Yesterday, I arranged to meet L. at Charing Cross station at two pm. At ten past I finally arrived. So, after agreeing to meet Our Man (formally) in the Army at the Hampstead Waterstones at two pm, I left home 75 minutes beforehand so that I would not only arrive in time but would do so at a stroll. The wisdom of this decision was proved by the 25 minute wait for the overground train!

Once in Hampstead, I took a very leisurely walk from the station up the hill to Hamps. High street. At Waterstone's I fell prey to temptation and picked up a copy of The Birthday Book by Censorinus (c. AD238) and Xenophon's (c. 420 - 350BC) The Expedition of Cyrus. They were two gems in an otherwise disappointing classics section at said shop.

Meeting Our Man, we took ourselves to our favourite haunt, the Old White Bear pub, which can be seen in the background behind the friendly cat in the photograph above. Friendly because he let me stroke him!

As for the game, Leicester Tigers were the firm favourites going into the match as they had already won the Anglo-Welsh Cup and Guinness Premiership Grand Final in recent weeks. Wasps, meanwhile, had only finished fifth in the league this season. But Wasps are a mercurial team and have proved before that when it counts, they can raise their game and put in a match winning performance. And that is exactly what they did against Leicester, stifling the Tigers in attack and never letting them settle. A couple of very cheeky tries and conversions plus the odd drop goal and penalty saw Wasps take the game by the scruff of the neck right from kick off and make Leicester look distinctly second rate. It was an excellent performance by them.

Our Man (formerly) in the Army starts a new job with the Police tomorrow so I may have to think up a new name for him. In the meantime, I do so enjoy my visits to Hampstead - I love its mixture of leafiness, fine housing and hilliness - that I find myself wondering when I will be able to visit again.

Ascension Day

Today in England and Wales, the Catholic Church celebrates the feast of the ascension of the Lord. If you read the Catholic press you will know that the bishops transferred this feast from the Thursday before the 7th Sunday of Easter to the 7th (today) with the aim of making it easier for more Catholics to attend.

I do hope that the bishops carry out a survey in the weeks and years ahead to see if they can find any one who could not make it to Mass on Ascension Thursday and so were delighted when the transfer took place. I doubt that there will be many. Last summer, when the move was announced, I wrote variously about the decision - just click on the 'holy days' tag below for the various posts. But, in short, I do not approve of it. I see it as a contribution towards the erosion of a distinctly Catholic identity in the world rather than a measure that will secure it.

The above notwithstanding, on Thursday last, I did not do as some suggested could be done, and go to my local Church of England church or a Tridentine Mass (Ascension Day still being on Thursday in the old rite calendar) for to do so would have been for me an act of disrespect towards the authority of the bishops. I would have been committing the same mistake as we on the traditional wing of the Church often accuse liberal Catholics of making - picking and choosing what we wish to believe or do.

Criticising the bishops is one thing, but acting against them (except in the gravest of situations) is quite another. The reason I say this - with specific reference to myself - is because although if asked I would say that yes, I am more of a traditionalist than not, I am not so wedded to that wing of the Church that my spiritual life revolves around the old rite and its calendar. If I was someone who paid attention to feast days according to the pre Vatican II calendar the whole year round, I would have gone to an old rite Mass on Thursday with a clear conscience. But I don't and so I cannot approve of the idea of shifting from post Vatican II to pre- as and when it suites me.

As for Ascension Day itself, I hope you have a good day and feast well!

Renoir and Monet

Today was F. A. Cup Final day - Manchester United versus Chelsea. Winning the cup would have been the icing on the cake after winning the premier league title, but no more than that. In light of this, I was not at all unhappy to have already arranged to visit two art exhibitions in town with L: First up was Renoir Landscapes 1865 - 1883 at the National Gallery in Trafalgar Square. Renoir was an impressionist, and I have to admit that while I enjoyed seeing his paintings - particularly those of the sea - I did feel that his art was a more basic version of what Monet produced. With that said, there was a strength in Renoir's simplicity; it was as if we had joined him in a journey of discovery in this particular artistic form.

Speaking of Monet, the second exhibition that we went to see was dedicated to him. The Unknown Monet: Pastels and Drawings was being exhibited at the Royal Academy opposite Green Park in Piccadilly. As the title suggests, it was, at least in part, a very different Monet to the usual Impressionist paintings with sketches and satires also sharing centre stage. Of the latter, there was only one painting - Waterloo Bridge in fog that I thought was taking the mickey: unless, that is, the fog was so thick that the bridge could not actually be seen when Monet tried to paint it. Another thought that occured to me was that it was just as well Monet never became a courtroom illustrator or police mug shot artist: "Yes, well, Mr Monet, that is a good sketch, but we do need to have a clear likeness of the suspect, not an impression." Anyway, both exhibitions were very good and it was an enjoyable day out. So much so that having heard that Man Utd lost 1 - 0 to Chelsea I remain happy.

Unfortunately, the Renoir exhibition ends tomorrow, but the Monet continues until 10th June 07. Do go and see it if you can

Romero and the Tridentine Mass

This week's Catholic Herald has this headline on its front page, 'Romero should be beatified, says Benedict XVI during during Brazil visit.' The Pope is, of course, referring to Archbishop Oscar Romero who was assassinated on 24th March 1980 as he said Mass. Although his cause (for sainthood) was opened in 1997, the Herald regards Benedict's positive attitude to Romero's beatification as surprising given that Romero is a hero to liberation theologians - those who fought so hard to dilute Christianity with Marxism during the '70s and '80s.

What was more interesting to me, however, was the fact that the Herald had quotations from not one, but two, English bishops, both expressing their support of the Pope's stance. The first,

Bishop Michael Evans of East Anglia explained that Romero was an inspirational figure not only for Catholics but for Christians of all denominations.

That is good news. His beatification and canonisation will clearly lead to more conversions to the one, holy, Catholic and Apostolic church then. The second bishop is Kieran Conry of Arundel and Brighton, who is quoted as saying approvingly that,

Romero had the kind of global appeal lacked by most of the saints canonised under John Paul II.

In this age of globalisation, it is perhaps no surprise that Bishop Conry regards saints with 'global appeal' as being superior to those whose appeal is only local. For my part, I would take immeasurably more pride in a canonised saint from England than from any other part of the world. The world may be a global village, but that saint came from my street; my house; he lived alongside me.

Anyway, the quotations from the bishops reminded me of their apparent silence earlier this year when Benedict published his Apostolic Exhortation - Sacramentum Caritatis. Was it not several days - perhaps even a week - before any could be found to say anything for it? And so I wonder, when Pope Benedict's Motu Proprio is published - giving priests licence to celebrate the Tridentine Mass - where will Bishop Evans and Bishop Conry be then? Will the Catholic Herald have the same success that it had this week in obtaining a quotation from them? I suspect not. They are happy to pipe up about Romero because he is the poster boy of liberal Catholics and religious Marxists, but the Tridentine Mass is of the hateful traditionalists whom the bishops would rather disappear. And since they won't, when the Motu Proprio is published, Evans, Conry et al will instead. I hope I am wrong.

To Westminster Cathedral via Swaziland

Days off work are indeed precious and to be enjoyed as much as possible - mainly by doing as little as possible. So that was me today. One thing I make time to do, however, was send a couple txt mssgs as I have now received my new mobile phone. The Great Phone Mystery will never be solved but I am back in touch with humanity. Or, at least, those few friends who have kindly given me their numbers.

My idleness has not lasted all day. This afternoon, I betook myself to Westminster for the weekly walk and paper run. After passing Buckingham Palace, I strolled up Buckingham Palace Gate Road. And what did I see?

It is an embassy, and none other than...

That's right, the embassy of the kingdom of Swaziland. There are links on the sidebar to two of Swaziland's newspapers. Recent stories have included how a football match between the Mbanane's two football teams (the Highlanders and Swallows) had to be called off after crowd trouble. Such problems are, alas, not confined to Europe.

Anyway, Swaziland is a fine country that deserves more attention than it currently gets. So take a look. And if you can't visit it, make sure you watch Wah-Wah which is set there and is a splendid film.

The Inquisitive Cow on Solid Rocket Boosters, the Third Law of Motion and Teddy Bears

dúnadan: It's the weekend, I'm in Dorset and that can only mean one thing - I am with Gerrie, the inquisitive cow! Hiya Gerrie.
inq. cow: Good day, dúnadan!
dúnadan: Well, there is only subject that we can start with today because we are standing in the shadow of a very large rocket that has a wicker basket tied to it about half way down. What on earth is it doing here?!
inq. cow: 'What on earth' indeed. This is a Solid Rocket Booster that Bertie Pig has acquired to send him into space. His mission is to escape from the earth!
dúnadan: Goodness me. Don't tell me he is going to sit in the wicker basket-!
inq. cow: Don't worry, it is well padded and has a very comfortable chair. Oh, and you can see the windshield to protect against the G-Forces.
dúnadan: Hmm... How did Bertie come by the rocket?
inq. cow: Ah, well, that I don't know, although I can tell you that it comes from the ATK company of America. I know he wrote to them asking to borrow it, so I suppose they obliged. SRBs - Solid Rocket Boosters - are reusable. Did you know that ATK used to be called Thiokol which comes from the Greek for sulfur - Θειο "theio" - and glue - κολλα "kolla". It is always very nice when you hear of companies who are attentive to history!
dúnadan: Indeed. How tall is the rocket? What kind of fuel does it use?
inq. cow: Well, as to its height, the rocket is nearly 150 feet long and 12 feet in diameter. It uses a mixture of fuels. There is ammonium perclorate, aluminum and iron oxide. A polymer called PBAN holds it all together. The short name for the fuel is APCP - Ammonium Perchlorate Composite Propellant. Unfortunately, not all of these are readily obtainable in Dorset, so I did some research into rocket science this week and have borrowed a few barrels of Dorchester Best Bitter from Publican Will with a topping of curdled milk and poured that in instead. Oh, look, Tecumseh's Legion is waving everyone away from the field. It looks like they are about to launch!

bertie's rocket

dúnadan: While we dash behind the hedgerow, tell me how the little red baron's battle on the Frome with Hannibal Rabbit went last week!
inq. cow: They continued trading cannonballs until they came in sight of Augustine Squirrel's palafitta. Quite understandably, he did not want his project destroyed by them, so he blew them out of the river with cannonball shots of nuts and pips!
dúnadan: Wonderful! Right, here we are on the verge. I can see Learned Owl and Learning Owlet further on. Horace the Monet loving horse is painting the scene already. The Tercel Triplets are sitting on the field gate... smoke is now coming from the rocket. We are two fields away from Farmer Bill's house. What does he make of all this?
bertie pig: He has been away with relatives in northern Dorset this week. We picked this week for the launch just in case he thought it an escape too far!
dúnadan: The rocket has exploded into life! It is starting to rise. What a noise it is making! Hello Bertie... Bertie! Shouldn't you be in your wicker basket?!
bertie pig: Should I? Yippee!
dúnadan: Oh dear.
inq. cow: There goes the rocket, leaving a trail of thick white smoke behind it. Bertie, we have to recover the rocket from the Severn river and give it back to the nice man from ATK by next Monday so I fear you won't get a second chance to go into outer space... although I think if your astronaut uniform consisted of only those flying goggles that you are wearing, may be that would be a good thing.
dúnadan: The rocket has disappeared. The smoke over the field is clearing and, goodness me, there is a big hole in the middle of it now.
inq. cow: Hmm. That is going to be tricky to hide. Moooh! Still, even if today's launch was not quite so successful, at least we have had the opportunity of seeing Isaac Newton's third law of motion in action.

Mr. Newton's book on motion

dúnadan: What is that?
inq. cow: "Actioni contrariam semper et æqualem esse reactionem: sive corporum duorum actiones in se mutuo semper esse æquales et in partes contrarias dirigi." In short, "To every action force there is an equal, but opposite, reaction force". Bertie's rocket was launched by the mass flow rate of the fuel multiplied by its exhaust velocity.
dúnadan: You mean, how fast the fuel was burning?
inq. cow: Mooooo... something like that!
dúnadan: Where is the opposite force, then?
inq. cow: That, I think, is the ground, which it is pushing against. As the rocket has less mass than the ground, it is the object that is pushed away. With that said, rockets work in space where they meet no resistance, so I wonder what is the opposite force there. I suppose it must be the chemical reactions that are taking place in the rocket itself. Humm.
dúnadan: It's all a bit high powered for me. I need to sit down for a bit. .. hullo, here is an abandoned teddy bear.
inq. cow: Are you not an arctophile, dúnadan?
dúnadan: An arctophile?
inq. cow: From the Greek. 'Arcto' meaning bear and 'phile' for lover.
dúnadan: I have a few at home, yes!
inq. cow: When I was a calf, I had many! This one looks like an artist's bear.
dúnadan: ?
inq. cow: Look, it has a movable head and limbs... using disks and cotter pins. I can see the artist's monogram - D. N. - on the bear's paw as well. A commercially made teddy bear would not have any of these things. The movable parts would be dangerous to small children. And, if anything, it would have the company name, not an individual's initials.
dúnadan: How interesting. Well, the poor thing looks very mangy. His fur is matted and in parts he is wholly bald. He must have been here a long time. Hallo, Bertie, I thought you had gone. Would you like a bear?

Bertie's bear!

bertie pig: Won't he try to eat me?
dúnadan: No, he is already stuffed!
inq. cow: *groan!* And on that awful note, why don't we end today's interview!
dúnadan: Very well. Cheerio, everyone. See you again next week!

index of interviews with the inquisitive cow
Gerrie has a Facebook pro file! Search under 'Gerrie Cow' and become her friend

ATK Company website
Newton's Third Law

France

out with the old and in with the new

Today is a big day in France as Nicolas Sarkozy is formally sworn in as President. And not just as President, but as President of the Republic, which makes the office sound even more grand than it already is. To celebrate this auspicious occasion, I am going to tag myself to give five things I like / love about France from my visits there.

1. A few years ago, we (i.e. the family and me) visited a small town in Normandy called Houlgate. A beautiful place by the sea. In some of the shop windows, they still had signs up saying 'welcome to the liberators'. Not bad after so many years.

2. Walking through the colourful architecture of Marseilles and thinking of World War II spies while meeting suspicious but still delightful cats.

3. Visiting one of the WWII cemeteries. Unfortunately, I can't remember which one it was, but we had just visited Arromache and (I think) Gold Beach, so it was near there. There was a beautiful monument to the fallen soldiers and the cemetary itself was immaculately kept. I can't imagine what it would have been like storming Gold beach on D-Day as it - the beach - is about the flattest place in Normandy, the rest of which seemed to me to be very hilly.

4. Tasting red wine in the chateau neuf du pape region!

5. French people. Now, I can't say I have met too many, but of those I have met they were always very polite and nice.

What an easy meme! I could have gone on - and I haven't even got to Paris yet. Ah, to live in such a beautiful place.

Notting Hill

Over the last few days I have been watching a rather high brow sci - fi film called Solaris. I normally watch films, however, to unwind. Among my most favourite pictures are the three famous romantic comedies of Richard Curtis - Four Weddings and A Funeral, Notting Hill and Love, Actually, with Notting Hill being the best. So, it was with great joy that I found a copy of the script of the film (+ extras) at Amazon for an absurdly cheap price (£2. That was for a hardback. There was a paperback going for 1p. Amazing) and with even greater joy still that I purchased it. Now, I know that Curtis's pictures are inevitably cheesy and manipulative, but I think on the whole I prefer Curtis's spin doctoring than Alistair Campbell's. One thing that is to be regretted though is Richard Curtis's introduction to the Notting Hill book where he says 'welcome to the big lie that is...'. Well, alright, the chances of Julia Roberts ever turning up at my office is quite remote as to be non existent, but it is a very pleasant thought and I wish he had left the question at least a little open!

Rome - Series Two

Potentially Good news! The second series of Rome, which has already been shown on American television, is going to be released on DVD there during the summer. The news is only 'potentially' good because I don't know if our DVD player or my computer can play foreign region DVDs. Research into this matter will most certainly be conducted. As the series was co-funded by the BBC it will almost certainly end up on British screens, but quite frankly, I can't wait that long.

Westminster, and more on the G. P. M

In between of playing at stato, I took a stroll through town to Westminster Cathedral to pick up this week's copy of The Tablet and The Catholic Herald. On the way, I visited the local police station to report my mobile phone lost (after prevaricating, I finally got round to calling O2 to find out what its I.M.E.I (??) number on Thursday). No one was in the waiting room this time and a police officer arrived at the counter to help me within a couple of minutes of my arrival. He was exceedingly polite and pleasant to speak to. Imagine a friendly man with a Northern accent (possibly Huddersfield, like K., or is it Hull??) and that was him. That is a good public service.

Leaving Rozzerville, I headed on west. Now, I should say that today I was wearing the only pair of clean socks that I had available to me today, which was a pair of sport/summer socks that are cut off at one's heel. And because I hadn't worn them for ages, I put on my old caterpillar boots.

This was a serious mistake.

The walk to Westminster went well, but as I approached it, my feet - specifically the heel area of both - began to feel a little awkward. I knew what was up: blisters were coming. In the plaza outside the Cathedral, my attention was momentarily diverted by a most curious site - morris dancers. I stopped for a moment to watch them dance, jingle and knock their sticks together. It was quite good fun.

Picking up (yes, I did pay for them) the papers, I stopped for a second time at the back of the church to rest my feet. At the front of the church, this week's Latin Mass was in progress. Last weekend, a commenter mentioned that on 9th June there is a Mass in the Pius V Rite at the Cathedral. If he is reading this, I can say that I would love to have come but - alas! - I am visiting Rome the day before. Oh well!

The journey home, despite the fact that it was by underground, was the most awkward I have had in a long time. Imagine a crippled ship hobbling back to port after being holed under the water and that was me.

As soon as I got home, I took my shoes off (an indication that I hadn't worn them for a long time is evidenced by the fact that even when I unlaced them dust still flew off). My right foot turned out to be alright, but on the heel of my left foot was a burst blister the size of a one penny piece. A plaster went straight onto it.

Not long later, I had reason to call Arathorn about another matter. Telling him about the blister, he said make sure you get it covered as you could suffer a toxic shock. Blimey! Blisters can be a nuisance but that sounds pretty lethal. Anyway, it is evening now and I am still here so thankfully, it looks like all will be well.

British Catholic Bloggers

What is the current state of Catholic blogging?
Are there many of us?
Do we blog often?

I don't have an answer to the first question but in regards the second, I keep an index of British Catholic Bloggers which, as of today, is 85 members strong. However, this is not an exhaustive list. The bloggers mentioned were either found by me on my blogging travels or because they e-mailed me to ask if they could be listed. It may be that there are many others who I am not aware of or who aren't aware of the list. If you know of any, do let me know so that I can include them!

What about the third question? Well, visiting each of the listed blogs today, I noted when each was last updated. The following statistic, therefore, refers to the number of blogs that were last updated in the named month.

May 2006 - one

September 2006 - one

November 2006 - one

December 2006 - one

January 2007 - three

February 2007 - four

March 2007 - five

April 2007 - thirteen

May 2007 - fifty six

So, 55 of 84 bloggers have updated their blogs in the last couple of weeks and 18 more in the last six weeks or so. That is indicative of a very active British Catholic blogosphere. I had no idea as to how many Catholic bloggers would be currently active, but I must confess that I did not think it would be this many.

Alas, my visit to all the blogs on the BCB list also revealed a few blogs that not only are no longer active but have been deleted altogether:

• Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam
• Catholic Joy
• For God and King
• Kenneth Hislop's Review
• My Vocation and my life

If they have simply changed address, please do let me know so that I can put them back on the list.

The Inquisitive Cow on Blue Green Algae, Palafitte and the U. S. Constitution

dúnadan: Hallo and welcome to the Frome River just outside Dorchester! I am standing in the river in a pair of wellington boots which, as I have just discovered, have holes in them! As a result, I have rather wet and cold feet! Sensibly standing on the river bank is Gerrie the inquisitive cow. Hallo Gerrie!

inq. cow: Good afternoon dúnadan!
dúnadan: Gerrie, for the benefit of our readers please explain why I am getting wet like this.
inq. cow: Well, it is all for the sake of the river. We are checking it for blue green algae.
dúnadan: For what reason...?
inq. cow: Because it is unhealthy for the river. And more than that, it is toxic to animals and humans too.
dúnadan: I have just collected a sample of water to take back to the lab, or rather, Mrs Farmer Bill's kitchen. This will be for general inquisitiveness and research purposes. Regarding blue green algae, we can tell just by looking at the Frome that it is a healthy river because the water is clear. If anyone wishes to check their local river for blue-green algae, do they simply look for that?
inq. cow: Yes. Although blue green algae is actually more green than not. It also forms scum on the surface of the water.
dúnadan: Oh dear. It has just started to rain. I am going to get even wetter as I am only wearing my linen shirt and trousers. Gerrie, how is this algae created?
inq. cow: By high phosphate levels. Phosphate is a chemical that is created by decomposing organic matter, for example, fish, insects or leaves. In the case of insects or fish, when they die, or even before they do, they are eaten by other animals. This keeps the phosphate level low and the river healthy. But if too much decomposing matter enters the river, or if man made products such as detergents or fertiliser spill into it, that upsets the balance and blue green algae forms. The algae feeds on the phosphate, you see. And a merry feast it has too.
dúnadan: Do you think it is possible for the algae to eat all the phosphate?
inq. cow: Most certainly, and if it does, it dies. And if it dies - Mooooo! - it releases toxins into the river that poison it. Not good, dúnadan, not good at all.
dúnadan: Indeed. Oh look, I just saw a salmon swim by! I am going after it!
inq. cow: Dúnadan, no! He is a better swimmer than you...!
dúnadan: He is only meandering! Uh-oh, lost bal--- splash!
inq. cow: Oh dear... are you alright?
dúnadan: A bit wet...! Actually, that was fun! I am not the only one to have had fun in the river this week, am I?
inq. cow: Well, if you are referring to Augustine Squirrel's latest building project, I don't think he regards it as fun.
dúnadan: Oh, he is a fuddy duddy. But explain what is going on. You are helping him build a new settlement.
inq. cow: That's right. As our readers may recall, I helped design Augustine Squirrel's reconstruction of the city of Petra in the Wood last year. Our new project is to build a palafitta.
dúnadan: I have no idea of what that is.
inq. cow: A palafitte is a house that is built on stilts on a river or lake. Palafittes were built by Neolithic to Bronze Age civilisations.
dúnadan: Why does Augustine Squirrel want to build one?
inq. cow: Oooooh, many reasons, but mainly because he is rather concerned about the upturn in violence between Tecumseh Squirrel and Hannibal Rabbit.
dúnadan: Ah, yes, that. Hannibal has found himself an army and has been launching midnight raids on Tecumseh's camps. To make matters worse, the Honeybadger has been fighting for whoever will offer him more honey. How many times as he switched sides?
inq. cow: Too many! And even in the middle of battle.
dúnadan: Now, you and Country Solicitor Heelis have teamed up to write a Woodland Constitution.
inq. cow: This is correct. Augustine Squirrel's response to the violence is not without merits but is rather expensive. Ours is more profound. We have been inspired by the American Constitution:

WE THE ANIMALS of the Wood in Farmer Bill's land, in order to form a more perfect woodland, establish justice, ensure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general welfare, and secure the food supply for everyone to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution of the Wood.

dúnadan: So far so good.
inq. cow: The acid test will be the next time Tecumseh and Hannibal Rabbit come to blows. Under our constitution, they must go to arbitration first.
dúnadan: Did you study the American Constitution closely before writing your own?
inq cow: Of course!
dúnadan: Okay, tell me what is Article 4 Section 1.
inq. cow: Easy. Each state must honour every other state. In the Wood, each animal community must honour every other.
dúnadan: But Gerrie, animals and Americans are not quite the same.
inq cow: That is true. It may take a while for our constitution to take root.
dúnadan: Yes... Well--- (Suddenly, the sound of a great, big explosion further up river) Goodness me, what is going on up there?!
inq. cow: Look... there is Bertie Pig's trireme coming through the smoke. But he is not at the helm. It is Tecumseh. He has fitted cannons to the ship!
dúnadan: And just behind him is another armed trireme?
inq. cow: No, that is a quinquireme. There is Hannibal Rabbit at its helm. I think you had better come out of the water, dúnadan...
dúnadan: I think you are right Gerrie! Oh dear me. Your constitution is in for a rough ride tonight!
inq. cow: I shall be happy to see you out of the river. Hurry up!
(The sound of the dúnadan puffing and panting and dragging himself out of the river. Cannon fire going off and the sound of the ships ramming each other.)
dúnadan: Goodness! What an end to the interview. Come on, Gerrie, let's leave them to it. I need a stiff drink after that!
inq. cow: I rather agree. I shall have a yoghurt! Those pesky battle rivals!

index of interviews with the inquisitive cow
Gerrie has a Facebook pro file! Search under 'Gerrie Cow' and become her friend

The Constitution of the U. S. A.
On blue green algae

Cally's Miscellany

• I have finished watching Nil by Mouth, which was written and directed by actor Gary Oldman. I once read that Brideshead Revisited was about the 'action of grace' in the life of Charles Ryder. If so, Nil by Mouth is surely about the action of sin in the life of Billy (Charles Creed-Miles) and Ray (Ray Winstone). The film follows a few days in the life of Billy and Ray as they drink, steal, beat and swear their way through home and neighbourhood. It is an almost unremittingly gloomy and disturbing film. Only for those with strong stomachs. Nil by Mouth is said to be 'loosely' based on Gary Oldman's own life. It is hard to imagine that anyone could live like Billy or Ray: pray for them.
  
  
• So, after ten years as P.M., Tony Blair announced today that he will resign as Prime Minister on 27th June. He has given good service in an extremely difficult job so I hope he has a good rest on the 28th and following.
  
  
• In case any one cries "Good service?? What about Iraq?" I would ask to see proof positive that he took us to war in bad faith before reversing my judgement.
  
  
• If you are short of change, try on the shoes that you haven't touched for several months or pick up from your shelf the book you can't remember when you last read and lo, two five pound notes will be found in the shoe and on top of the book. I should know as this has just happened to me!
  
  
• Something else that should be done is cutting off labels from new clothes before wearing them to work which a certain someone (ahem) did recently. Fortunately, I noticed before too many other people did.
  
  
• As I write it is raining outside. Isn't the sound of rain on leaf beautiful?

The Orient Express derailed

Today's belated May Day Bank Holiday saw me crossing town in an eastwards direction as I headed off to Leyton to meet Five Minute Jim. As readers of the sidebar will know (and indeed, as all of you ought to know) Manchester United won the Premier League title yesterday after Chelsea failed to beat Arsenal at Ashburton Grove. With two games left in the football season, Chelsea are now seven points behind our homeric heroes (think S'Alex as Agamemnon, Wayne Rooney as Achilles, Christiano Ronaldo as Odysseus, Ryan Giggs as Diomedes etc) and unable to overtake them. The lower Leagues season, however, is over. And to mark its end, Leyton Orient - who play in 'League Two' (the old Division 3) - played none other than Sierra Leone in a friendly.

The game almost never took place as the British High Commission refused visas to 15 members of the Leonian (?) squad. As a result, the team that took the field today, was made up of players based in Europe. The makeshift nature of the team didn't show, however, for the team played fluently and with confidence.

In the first half, Orient rarely troubled the Sierra Leone goalkeeper. In fact, they had onlyone chance on goal; fortunately for them, however, they took it and scored. At half time, the score was 1 - 2, but the visitors should have been several more goals ahead. Ironically, they ended up only being in the lead thanks to a rather suspect penalty.

Orient came alive in the second half, and were unlucky to go 1 - 4 down before clawing back a goal with an excellent header. But Sierra Leone remained comfortably the best team. They played with flair and a good amount of athleticism. Orient, perhaps unsurprisingly given their league status, were quite the reverse.

Brisbane Road stadium was a delight to visit. It is well developed and open. The fans of both teams also did much to make the visit a pleasurable one, with both being in fine voice. Some of the Sierra Leone fans even came in national dress which was good. Unfortunately, the quality of the Orient fan chanting wasn't up to much with their lyrics either being nonsense words or just the name of their team over and over again to different tunes. Still, it was funny to see the Orient fans taunt those of Sierra Leone with cried of "Who are you?!" after scoring their first goal having been completely outplayed before!

A vote for common sense

I owe David Palmer for highlighting this petition at 10 Downing St.

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to introduce legislation which would recognise the Roman Catholic faith as the State religion of the UK.

Click here to sign the petition. Go on, you know it makes sense.

Vai Roma!

Secrets of Lord of the Rings

As David Palmer notes, Fr. Roderick Vonhögen at SQPN has started a new podcast entitled The Secrets of The Lord of the Rings. I listened to the first episode last week and was, to say the least, very dissatisfied. The podcast was forty minutes long with the first few minutes being taken up by a repetitive introduction and then some too general information about Middle-earth that was gleaned from Wikipedia. The main body of the programme was thereafter taken up with a 'sound seeing tour' of the reprehensible on-line game The Lord of the Rings: The Shadows of Angmar.

Tolkien Enterprises, the company that licenses merchandise related to Tolkien's books, has a lot to answer for. How could it consent to turning JRRT's books into a video game? The answer is, of course, that they have done it for money. But the idea of it is awful. I agree with Christopher Tolkien that his father's books are works of arts. Not brands to be exploited as far as possible.

I particularly object to The Lord of the Rings being used as the template for a video game as this empties it of all the layers of meaning that Tolkien put into the work so that now it is a piece of nonsense that is indistinguishable from every other adventure game that one can buy for one's computer. Listening to Fr. Roderick's tour brought that home clearly. "Here I am travelling through Archet... I can buy a sword from this shop if I have enough gold... uh-oh here is a wolf, I've got to kill it." Cue cheesy wolf and slashing noises.

The second Secrets of LotR episode was a little more substantial but still very unstructured and shallow. I suspect, however, that I would only be happy with an academic discourse on the book so I must cut Fr. Roderick a little slack. But none goes to Tolkien Enterprises. They ought to be ashamed of themselves.

Engleby - Sebastian Faulks

Contrary to what I wrote in my first post about this book, there will be no updates on my reading of Engleby by Sebastian Faulks as I have just finished the book. It was a disturbing but compelling read. Engleby is the story of Mike Engleby, told by himself, from childhood through university (Cambridge, not Oxford, as I said before) and adulthood. I mentioned in my last post that a girl friend named Jennifer seemed to be the 'gateway to something greater happening'. This guess turned out to be true, albeit, 'greater' should not in this case be thought to mean good but important.

In an interview with the Daily Telegraph, Faulks is said to have been

... so concerned.. about alienating his traditional readers that he offered to publish the book under a pseudonym.

Engleby is certainly a tougher book than, say, the War Trilogy (Birdsong, The Girl at the Lion D'Or and Charlotte Grey). The protagonist is unlikable man and as it turns out, a very dangerous one. Neither is there an epic backdrop to the story to give him sympathy (Cf. Stephen Wraysford in Birdsong), just humdrum life. However, Faulks's prose is immensely readable and this makes holding on to read a little further (when, perhaps, the story will cheer up, or at least, Engleby will surprise by showing some nicer aspect to his character) very easy indeed.

As mentioned above, Jennifer is an important character in the book. She goes missing early on. What happened to her? Was she murdered? For most of the book, we don't know, and the investigation peters out within a few pages. Engleby then follows the life of the eponymous hero - wherein he becomes a journalist and ends up interviewing Ken Livingstone, Jeffrey Archer and even Maggie Thatcher - until the point when Jennifer's body is found. I shan't say what happens next, but Engleby is not a murder mystery and long before it is actually revealed, one may easily guess who the murderer is.

What makes Engleby disturbing is Engleby himself. His unlikableness comes from the fact that he drinks too much, takes too many drugs, is self serving and, as the precis to the book says, is devoid of any scruple. But perhaps all of these things could be suffered if Engleby tried to redeem himself. Alas, there is no redemption story here. As far as he is concerned, he does what he does and simply moves on. But Engleby is not an intrinsically hateful person. His mistakes - his malice - have their origins not in pure evil but the events of his life, for example, his beatings at the hands of his father and at school, in his own painful shyness and mistaken attempts to deal with that. The blurb to Engleby describes the story as 'a lament to a generation and a country it failed'. I think rather that it is a lament to one man's frailty, for the above factors do not excuse any of his bad actions, but provide an explanation for them.

Engleby is not a beach book. It is rich work that represents, for me, a return to form for Faulks. I think I will not return to Human Traces just yet, however, for in its unremitting sadness, Engleby is a hard read as well as easy one. Luckily, when I discovered that this book had been published, I found that Faulks also wrote a series of pastiches last year called Pistaches, so maybe I will look out for that one. In the meantime, I do hope his next serious work is just a little less serious.

Westminster, and more on the G. P. M

Up to Westminster Cathedral this morning which was in the middle of a Latin Mass. Lots of people present, which was good to see. As soon as it had finished, the cathedral emptied... before promptly filling to the brim again: the Charismatic Renewal movement was celebrating its 40th anniversary. People from all over the country were present for what appeared to be a day of talks and worship. It was quite a contrast - one minute solemn, the next lively.

I cannot say I enjoyed the spectacle. Charismatic worship seems to me to regard the liturgy as simply a means to excite people so that they are receptive to the words of the preachers, whatever they may be. Thus, the first hymn was a song that would have been more appropriate for a nightclub; and indeed, one lady - in the queue for confessions, of all places - was actually dancing along to it. The song also encouraged that very Evangelical practise of raising the hand or hands into the air - a curious mixture of greeting and Nazi salute. Seeing middle aged people do this is fine - they are probably aging hippies who remember the liturgical scandals of the seventies with fondness - but seeing young people do the same is more unusual. They were not part of the past foolishness, after all. The song ended not in silence but with the congregation applauding. Who, I wonder? I rather suspect their own performance.

All was not bad, however, for before I left the cathedral, I did hear a hymn played which I always enjoyed when I went to the Youth 2000 meetings: Blessed Be Your Name by Matt Redmond.

***

Leaving the cathedral, I turned left towards St. Paul's bookshop. A few weeks ago, Fr. Tim Finigan compared St. Paul's to the nearby CTS bookshop,

Despite the different sizes of the shops, I find that I can spend an hour browsing St Pauls and come out empty-handed whereas in the CTS I have to get out after five or ten minutes in order not to have bought too many books to carry home comfortably on the train. I rarely seem to visit there without coming out with at least three books and making mental notes to look up others on Amazon later.

His post elicited the following comments, which one may have regarded as being a little unkind,

... in St Pauls, you have to play "Hunt the Heretic" or rather, "Hunt the author faithful to the Church's Magisterium!!"

I think you will find that if it was possible to devise a "modernist quotient" to apply to Catholic bookshops, the St Pauls bookshop score would be much higher than that of the CTS bookshop.

But then, as I passed the shop window, what did I notice on display - alongside books by the late, great John Paul II - but a book by American televangelist Benny Hinn. I got to know about Mr Hinn back when I listened to Premier Christian Radio. Among Protestants he is regarded as unorthodox, both in his theology (he is part of the prosperity gospel movement) and ministry.

In those days, I contributed to the Premier message board and its successor 4Church. There was much criticism of Mr. Hinn on both sites. This was not just internet users spouting off - even Evangelical organisations are critical of him (see the wikipedia article on him here). So, how has he managed to get into the window of a Catholic bookshop? And next to St. John Paul? I wonder if the Charismatic Renewal day out had something to do with it. I hope they have nothing to do with him.

***

The Great Phone Mystery continues. Receiving no call yesterday (at work) from the manager of the Angelic pub, I went back to the police station to report it missing. Praise be! (That'll be the Charismatic influence) There was a man at the counter. Before going to him, however, I noticed a sign on the wall saying that no report could be filed without the phone's I.M.E. (?) number which could be found on the box that the phone came in. That'll be the phone box that I tore up and threw away to save space a while ago, then. Oh well, so I will have to call 02 customer services to ask for the I. M. E. number so that I can report the phone's loss to the police so that I can call customer services and see about getting a new one...

The Inquisitive Cow on Romanticism, Etiology and the Little Wimple election result

dúnadan: Hallo and welcome to a polling station in Little Wimple, Dorset, which also happens to be Publican Will's pub. I am sitting outside with a pint of bitter and my friend the inquisitive cow. Hallo Gerrie, how are you?

inq. cow: Hallo dúnadan, I am very well and eagerly looking forward to the result of the parish council election.
dúnadan: Indeed. All over the United Kingdom yesterday, people cast their votes in the local elections. Most of the results came through overnight or this morning. Little Wimple has, however, been a little slow because Publican Will is the Chief Returning Officer and sole counter and Friday is the day when he goes to Dorchester to take delivery of his beer, which is, of course, far more important than the practice of democracy. That is what I like so much about England, Gerrie, as well as being a 'green and pleasant land', she is also very civilised.
inq. cow: Do you know who coined that phrase, dúnadan?
dúnadan: Er... no. Shakespeare? Probably not the Bible.

William Blake. Potty. But Gerrie prefers Potter

inq. cow: Oh dear! Your history is not good. It was William Blake in his hymn 'Jerusalem': I will not cease from mental fight/ Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand/ Till we have built Jerusalem/ In England's green and pleasant land.
dúnadan: Ah yes, he of the tigers and opium.
inq cow: That poem runs: Tiger, tiger, burning bright/ In the forests of the night,/ What immortal hand or eye/ Could frame thy fearful symmetry. I often feel the same when I see Tecumseh Squirrel and his Legion drilling. But let's not be mean and focus too much on the opium. Blake was an extremely important poet and artist, though I must confess I prefer the drawings of Beatrix Potter. They are a little more friendly.
dúnadan: I don't know - all these Romantics hugging trees and making out that we should get closer to nature and find truth in our imaginations!
inq. cow: Moooh! You have to consider where they came from. The Romantic period was preceded by the Enlightenment and start of the Industrial Revolution. Poets had had enough of being rational!
dúnadan: Alright, let's move on. I never meant to talk about William Blake or Romanticism, Gerrie, but that's the beauty of interviewing you! The King's Arms is very busy today which is good news for the parish council election.
inq. cow: ' Hmm. I am not so convinced. The King's Arms has been the polling station since 1938. Yet since then no one has voted in Little Wimple! Pub profits, however, have gone up at every election! The last person to try and vote was Conservative candidate's Colonel FitzWilliam 'Bufty' Thumpington-Wirrell's father who wandered into the polling booth by accident on his way to the bar. Legend has it he stood in the booth for two hours waiting to be served. Didn't want to make a scene about the slow service. Mooooo! Humans!
dúnadan: I can see the Colonel over there. He is sozzled, as usual! And there is Lenny Dribb, the Labour Party Candidate. I do believe that that is Tecumseh and several of his Questors stealing poor Dribb's food. His life got very hard the day he said he wanted more animal rights. Oh look, there is Mary Wooleyhead, the Liberal-Democrat candidate, sitting in the corner. She is such a nice lady, but always seems to be on her own on election day. Well, I understand that this week, Gerrie, you have been discussing etiology with the Learned Owl.
inq. cow: Yes. The Learned Owl was enjoying his pipe when Learning Owlet came in and said he had heard three drunks arguing over whether the story of Noah and the Great Flood was literally true or an etiological tale. Of course, he was talking about Professor Wibble, Dibble and Bragg who got banned from the King's Arms last year when they came to blows over the meaning of sign and signified in the philosophy of Michel Foucault. Silly men.

Noah: Fact or Etiology?

dúnadan: And what is etiology about?
inq. cow: Ah, well, it is the study of causes. The Professors were talking about it in literary terms, but it can also be applied to philosophy, biology or physics.
dúnadan: I don't understand the literary meaning.
inq. cow: Take the example of Noah - that very kind man who took all the animals into his ship - did he exist or was the Noah story written to explain how humans and animals survived a great flood?
dúnadan: So - is it a myth?
inq. cow: Hurrah! You got it!
dúnadan: I am not just a pretty face! Oh look, here comes Publican Bill out of the pub. He has put the beer away and is about to announce the result of the election. He looks a little wobbly, Gerrie.

inq. cow: The beer has been flowing freely. Why can't they drink milk?
publican bill: By the pow'r 'vested in me by 'er majesty the Queen, I hereby announce the result o' the 2007 parish council election!
farmer bill: Get on wi' it y' big daftie!
publican bill: First of all I would like to say to the candidates, thangyou for standin'. I love you all. You are all like friends t' me! Espeshly you, Colonel, with the prodgus amoun' o'beer that you buy! Here is the result. Mrs Mary Gladstone Wooleyhead...
dúnadan: (whispering) Liberal-Democratic party.
inq. cow: (whispering) Dúnadan, you have already said which party she comes from.
dúnadan: (Whispering) I know, I just want to be like the announcer on t.v.
publican bill: ... No votes!
dúnadan: (whispering) That's a change of 0% on the last election.
publican bill: Comrade Leonard Dribb...
dúnadan: (whispering) Labour Candidate, brother to the poor, dispossessed and champagne drinkers...
publican bill: ... No votes!
inq. cow: (whispering) Ooooohhh... that is a shock. Four years ago someone left a piece of string and a Spanish peseta wrapped in a Labour election leaflet in the poll box. It was the first time anyone was proven to have taken any notice of their literature.
publican bill: Colonel FitzWillem, er, Bumpington Wibbell...
dúnadan: (whispering) Conservative and Unionist and why can't we bash the French any more candidate...
publican bill: One vote! I therefore declare a hung council!
dúnadan: Waitaminute, the Colonel won!
publican bill: He voted for himself! That is bad form. Bad form, colonel!
colonel fitzwilliam thumpington-wirrell: Damn it all, my hand slipped!
dúnadan: Well, Gerrie, four more years of all the parties muddling along together.
inq. cow: There were only two hung parliaments in the United Kingdom during the whole of the twentieth century - in 1929 and 1974. If one occurs after the next election in 2009/10, the parties could do worse than come to Little Wimple where the village council has now been successfully run on those lines for 69 successive years!
dúnadan: But surely nothing ever happens.
inq. cow: Moooh!
dúnadan: Hmm. Yes, I see. I think I answered my own question. Well, Gerrie, it has been good to talk to you. See you again next week!

index of interviews with the inquisitive cow
Gerrie has a Facebook pro file! Search under 'Gerrie Cow' and become her friend

What Kind of Catholic Are You?

To no one's suprise, it appears that a I am a traditionalist. Thank you to K. for the link. The only thing I would add is that,

a. I do not believe that the Catholic Church pre-Vatican II was more holy than post-Vatican II.
b. I do not belong to a Traditional Latin Mass community and suspect I would get very bored if I did.
c. I am very happy to attend a 'folk Mass' if it is sung well; and yes, they can be sung well - I know because I have seen it happen.
d. I don't know what a 'New Catholic' is. Any ideas?

To play the quiz, click here.

You scored as Traditional Catholic. You look at the great piety and holiness of the Church before the Second Vatican Council and the decay of belief and practice since then, and see that much of the decline is due to failed reforms based on the "Spirit of the Council". You regret the loss of vast numbers of Religious and Ordained clergy and the widely diverging celebrations of the Mass of Pope Paul VI, which often don't even seem to be Catholic anymore. You are helping to rebuild this past culture in one of the many new Traditional Latin Mass communities or attend Eastern Catholic Divine Liturgy. You seek refuge from the world of pornography, recreational drugs, violence, and materialism. You are an articulate, confident, committed, and intelligent Catholic. But do you support legitimate reform of the Church, and are you willing to submit to the directives of the Second Vatican Council? Will you cooperate responsibly with others who are not part of the Traditional community? http://saint-louis.blogspot.com - Rome of the West Traditional Catholic 62% New Catholic 57% Lukewarm Catholic 19% Neo-Conservative Catholic 17% Radical Catholic 17% Evangelical Catholic 14% Liberal Catholic 0% What is your style of American Catholicism? created with QuizFarm.com

The Great Phone Mystery (II)

... shows no sign of being solved. At lunch time today, I betook myself to the Angel, Islington where we drank and ate last night. First stop was the "Steam Passage" where the barmaid kindly looked to see if a mobile phone had been handed in. Unfortunately, it had not been. Next was the noodle bar which was similarly lacking in a lost mobile. Finally, to the Angelic pub. Once the barmaid understood what I was saying, I had to give my work no. for the manager to call me.

Leaving the Angelic, I decided to head off to the local police station (rozzerville) to report the phone lost. I arrived. Sat down. Waited.. Waited... Waited.... why was I waiting? Because there was no one at the front desk, that's why. The police, making London safer by absenting themselves from their front desk. Hmm. Anyway, after nearly half an hour, an officer appeared, only to disappear off with the first man in the queue. When he didn't appear for another ten minutes, I decided that I would actually like to have a little lunch before my lunch hour ended and so headed off back to the office. If I do not receive any call from the Angelic manager tomorrow (and I am not expecting any call from him to be positive) then I shall head back to the police station on Saturday when I have more time and they more people on duty.
And to cap it all I have come home and found again that there is no salad cream! Why?? Why is there none and why have I not remembered to buy any this week???

The Great Phone Mystery (I)

Missing!

Welcome to the first part of what will hopefully be a short mystery tale. It begins with a very pleasant night out with myself, L., Our Man (Formerly) In the Army and Timotheus Grimsson who is not as his surname suggests but a lover of the finest Greek and Norse poetry in a pub.

Then a restaurant.

Then another pub.

Before concluding with me returning home.

But then with me realising I have lost my mobile phone.

Thank goodness for Facebook. Our Man (formerly) in the Army has his mobile number on his Facebook page, so I am able to bring it up and give him a call to see if they are still at the pub.

He, L., and Grimsson are.

Unfortunately, however, the phone is not.

So I call the restaurant. No one has handed the phone into them but the fellow doesn't want to check too close to our table as there are patrons there. Sigh. But I understand his position.

My next action is to call O2 to block the phone and handset just in case some ne'er do well has stolen it. Now, I have had a cold this week and a consequently, a rather broken voice. Trying to speak clearly while in this condition is at best, awkward.

Tomorrow, therefore, I will have to use my lunch hour to (a) visit the restaurant and pubs and then, if the phone has not been handed in to any of them (b) the local police station for the second time in a year to register my phone as lost.

Oh, yes, and Manchester United lost 3 - 0 to A. C. Milan. It seems, though, that the best team won, so even though it wasn't mine, I can't be upset about that. Well done Milan and let's look forward to a rematch between them and Liverpool in the European Cup final.

Good news: It was good to meet Grimsson again. AND he gave me a good idea for a subject to do with C. S. Lewis. If anything ever comes of it, you will hear it here first.

The Lords of Avaris - David Rohl

click on the picture to visit Amazon.co.uk

This morning I finished The Lords of Avaris by David Rohl. Five hundred pages long, this book takes the reader on a sweeping journey through the ancient world. From northern Egypt to Greece to Troy and finally to Rome, The Lords of Avaris brings to life figures from both legend and history. We start with the historically attested Hyksos kings who invaded Egypt during the Second Intermediate Period before being expelled by the pharaoh Ahmose before moving on to the palace of mythical Minos (he of the Labyrinth), to Homer, Aeneas and the kings of pre-Republican Rome. On one level, this book is like a travelogue of the ancient world.

The main purpose of the book, however, is not to take the reader on a simple tour. Rohl has a much more profound purpose in mind for he is an Egyptologist who believes that the orthodox chronology (so named as it is the one which is accepted by most academics today) for Egypt and the ancient world is wrong. In his first book A Test of Time, Rohl argued that the reason why no archaeological evidence for the Bible has been found is because although archaeologists are looking in the right places for it, they are looking in the wrong time. Or, to be put it differently, the wrong level of ground. Look in the right place and proof of the events of the Bible - for example, the burning of Jericho - can be found. Rohl is, therefore, a revisionist. His redating is known as the New Chronology and is not at all accepted by academics. That says nothing about its value, of course, as new ideas are always opposed by the establishment. Whether it is justified in its criticism, I don't know, but even if Rohl has got everything wrong (which, although he is given to a fair bit of speculation when need be, I doubt) he is to be congratulated for introducing what could have been a dreadfully dull subject in such a lively and energetic fashion.

The Lords of Avaris is the last in the Test of Time series (the second book in the series was called Legend and is about Rohl's search for Eden). I hope very much that once he has recovered from the effort of writing this book, Rohl begins another. Yet even if he publishes no more, I would hardly feel it; reading The Lords of Avaris was not only like going on an epic journey but a banquet as well. And the best thing about it is that so rich is the book that it may (indeed, must) be read and reread over and again.

I Would Have, Would You?

It is not only Gerrie Cow who has a Facebook pro file. I have one as well and yesterday I created my first group - I Would Have Crossed The Rubicon With Caesar. If you are on Facebook and believe like I do that the Roman Senate is responsible for messing up the Republic then come and join. So far, the group has two members - me and Our Man (Formerly) in the Army - who joined after I asked him to (two sad cases are better than one!).